


His Little Miracle

by famigleea (Lissy)



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, Non-Graphic Non-con, Slight OOC, awesome kurt/rachel friendship, daddy!kurt, future puckurt, messing with the timeline, some drama and some angst but things get happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1899483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lissy/pseuds/famigleea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The unthinkable happens, and Kurt has to learn to deal with the aftermath. But sometimes you have to fight through some bad days to earn the best ones of your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drowning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Let the Rain Sing You a Lullaby](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/59250) by Aishuu. 



> This story will contain non-graphic rape, the use of drugs to facilitate sexual assault, and teen parenthood. There will also be homophobia as well as sexual relations between two consenting males, though that will be **far** into the future.

[](http://s1382.photobucket.com/user/laceved1/media/c3fa2085-a409-4c80-bedb-c9ad9fc744fc_zpsd931b424.jpg.html)

Chapter 1 – Drowning

“Keep your head up, baby, because there are people who will kill to see you fall.”

That’s what his mother used to say to him. Kurt remembered sitting by her hospital bed as she slowly withered away. She’d grabbed his hand and smiled, even though it looked painful for her to do so. At the time he hadn’t fully understood what she’d meant. He was only seven years old and had still believed that when he grew up everything would be better. He wouldn’t get picked on anymore, and maybe Noah would stop taking his cookies at lunch time.

But his mother knew. She had known her son was different, and that his life would be difficult because of those differences. He wondered if she knew just how badly his life was turning out to be. Still, she always wore a smile and had a warm embrace when he would cry about his classmates’ cruelty. Elizabeth Hummel was an amazing wife and mother, and when she died it was like all of the color bled out of the world. Although he still had his father, Kurt would never stop missing the woman who had meant so much to him.

Every now and then, particularly after a rough day at school, Kurt would repeat those words in his head. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your head up.

It made things a little easier to deal with. And as he got older, he started to realize exactly what his mother meant. As he began high school, Kurt discovered just how cruel people could be. The start of his freshman year was the start of what the unpopular people at McKinley High started calling dumpster dives. It was like name-calling simply wasn’t enough anymore. In the back of his mind, Kurt knew he would be targeted by bullies. With his delicate features, high voice, and impeccable taste in the latest fashion do’s, it really was a given. He hadn’t expected to be tossed in a dumpster, though.

The experience was beyond humiliating. His clothes had gotten what looked like pasta on them, and he knew he smelled hideous. And every class he went to, people would scrunch their noses and look at him as if he belonged on the bottom of a shoe. Others laughed, particularly the tough-looking boys that used to push him around on the playground. And when the teachers did nothing but look down their noses at him, Kurt realized that that was what people thought of him: something that belonged in the trash.

“Faggot,” they’d sneer. And nobody did anything to stop them, or to help him.

There weren’t many people that were nice to him. Everybody seemed to either hate him for being gay (and he hadn’t even come out the closet yet) or avoided him to not attract any trouble from the jocks. In fact, he could name the people that have been kind to him on one hand. There was the Spanish teacher, Mr. Schuester, who would offer him a smile but also usually walked by when he was surrounded by menacing jocks in an obviously unfriendly setting; there was Miss Pillsbury, the guidance counselor, who was jittery and looked like a bit of a nutcase herself; and there was also Mr. Ryerson, the Glee club director, but he gave Kurt creepy stares that made him feel like he was being preyed upon.

He was alone.

Kurt never cried in front of them, opting to sob his despair in the privacy of his own bedroom late at night. Instead, he’d found himself bringing spare clothes, and he’d pick himself out of the garbage with a few scathing remarks. Keep your head up. These people wouldn’t see him fall. He’d never give them the satisfaction. High school might be hell, but eventually he’d get his happy ending, and the bastards in Lima who thought of him as nothing but trash would all work for him.

But until then, Kurt had to tough it out.

And he thought that’d be easy. Freshman year wasn’t too hard, and he’d even made a friend, Grace. Sure, he’d gotten tossed into dumpsters and had slushies thrown in his face, but Kurt had discovered that putting up with all of the bullshit was easier when he had someone by his side.

And now, months later, Kurt can’t help but regret ever meeting her.

“Kurt, are you okay?” his father called, knocking on the door.

Kurt sighed miserably. He was on his knees in the bathroom of their shop. For a moment, he stared at the toilet and wondered if he was going to hurl. He certainly felt like he should. “Yeah, dad, just feeling a little under the weather,” he called back.

A few moments pass by in silence. When his stomach stopped turning and the feeling of his insides wanting to evacuate his body came to a halt, he stood up and washed his hands. Kurt splashed some cold water on his face for good measure. Staring hard in the mirror, he repeated his mother’s words over and over.

Keep your head up.

And, fuck, that was so hard to do right now.

He stepped out of the bathroom to meet his father’s concerned eyes. Kurt hated making his dad worry, and he knew he looked a fright. His normally perfect hair was unkempt and he was actually wearing greasy coveralls. Kurt had even skipped his skin care routine more often than not since summer vacation started.

His father stared at him. “There’s, uh, something I wanted to show you,” his father said after another moment of uncomfortable silence.

Kurt smiled weakly. “What is it?”

Burt gently took Kurt’s hand and tugged him along, his rough calloused hand softly holding Kurt’s soft delicate one. “Now, I know you said you didn’t really want anything for your birthday, but, well, with all that happened, I thought you’d really need this.”

He couldn’t move. Someone was on top of him, high-pitched moans and the smell of lavender… 

Kurt fought hard to keep his flinch down. Nausea coiled in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t want to remember Grace and that night so many months ago, but every now and then something would take him back and he’d nearly lose his lunch. When his father winced, Kurt squeezed his hand. “It’s okay,” he assured quietly. I’m okay, is what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to utter such a complete lie. Not when it was beyond obvious that the events a few months ago still haunted him.

Burt gave his son a look that spoke volumes. “No, it’s not,” he said just as softly, “but it will be. We’ll get through this.”

Kurt licked his lips and nodded. Because despite how shitty he felt, he knew on some level that his dad was right. They would get through this. Eventually.

“So what is it that you wanted to give me?” Kurt asked.

Burt seemed a little relieved at the change in subject. “Take a look for yourself,” he said as lead Kurt to the front door and opened it.

Kurt stepped outside with a puzzled look before his eyes took in the sight in front of him. His eyes widened and he gasped quietly, his hands shooting up to his face. Parked in front of the shop was a beautiful, shiny, sleek black Lincoln Navigator. He knew this because Kurt had had his eye on one since he was fourteen. This car was beautiful. Kurt turned to his dad and hugged him as hard as he could. Burt nearly melted, returning the hug with as much enthusiasm as he could without hurting his son. Ever since The Incident, Kurt couldn’t stop himself from craving his father’s comforting embraces.

“Thanks, dad,” Kurt whispered hoarsely, taking a moment to control his emotions.

Burt nodded his head, smiling. Using a finger, he lifted Kurt’s head so that they were eye-level. “I don’t want you to think I’m only doing this because of what happened,” he said. Kurt almost pulled away, but Burt kept a careful hold on him. “Your mother and I always talked about getting you a car for your sixteenth birthday. Now, I know this isn’t the exact one you wanted, but I figured that wouldn’t really matter.”

“It doesn’t,” Kurt piped in. He smiled. “I love it.”

Burt flushed a little. “Yeah, well,” he said, fumbling for something to say. “You’ll have to pay for the gas yourself, and I know you’re responsible enough to either bring her to me when she needs oil changes or tune ups, or even do it yourself. Your curfew remains the same, and I still expect a text message or phone call whenever you go out telling me where you’re at and who you’re with.”

Kurt nodded. The rules were very reasonable, and he knew as well as Burt did that Kurt didn’t really go out anywhere. Not before The Incident and certainly not after. Still, having the option to just go out and drive excited Kurt. His hands twitched and his father smirked knowingly before tossing him the keys.

“Can…?”

“Jimmy’s gonna watch the shop for a few while we take her out for a drive,” Burt informed him matter-of-factly.

Kurt squealed, gripping the keys tightly as he raced over to the car. He stopped just before he got in, however, looking at his greasy coveralls in horror. “Dad, we have to change,” he said. “I won’t have any grease stains not even ten minutes into my ownership of this beauty!”

Burt nodded his head expectantly. “Your clothes are in the back.” He paused and rubbed his bald head. “I’m pretty sure they match, but if they don’t I’m sorry. I don’t know how to pair together all the stuff in your closet.”

Kurt blinked. “I…” He didn’t quite know what to say so he just hugged his father again and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, dad.”

Burt blushed. “Go change,” he said. “I’ll put mine on in the office.” Without another word, the elder Hummel turned around and headed back into the shop.

Kurt watched him go with a soft smile. Not for the first time in his life did he wonder what exactly he did to deserve such a great dad. The past few months had been hard beyond reason, but Burt was with him every step of the way, an unwavering presence of comfort and support. His father had barely batted an eyelash when Kurt came out, and had cried with him when he confessed his deepest shame, The Incident.

Kurt opened the car door and found the bag with his clothes in it. He grabbed it, inhaling the fresh scent in the car. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior with leather seats (real leather) and recently vacuumed floors. Kurt couldn’t resist petting the seat before he snapped out of it and practically flew inside the shop to change in the bathroom.

His father actually didn’t choose bad clothes. Of course, none of Kurt’s clothes were bad, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that everything matched. Granted, he normally paired these jeans with his boots instead of the Converse his father had bought him several months ago, but they went together quite well.

By the time he was done changing, his father had just finished giving Jimmy, his assistant manager, directions, not that he really needed it. At Hummel Tires & Lube, they had a really good team. Jimmy had been working with Burt since Kurt wore diapers. Kurt considered him an uncle, and the other older members were also considered family.

Burt noticed him and finished his conversation with Jimmy. Jimmy gave Kurt a thumbs up and a grin which had him blushing slightly in excitement. Without waiting for his father, Kurt raced to his car and buckled himself in. He actually let out a whimper when he saw the dash and console, taking in the GPS and radio and overall feel of his car. Adjusting his mirrors as his dad slipped into the passenger’s seat, Kurt turned on the Navigator and grinned when it purred to life.

The soundtrack to Wicked came on, making him squeal all the more. “When did you take this?” he asked his father, eyeing him with a newfound appreciation.

Burt shrugged. “You know you take forever in the bathroom.”

Kurt laughed lightly. “Sneaky!” He rubbed the steering wheel with his thumbs. “So where to, dad?”

“I was thinking we should go to the mall.” His father sounded almost hesitant.

Kurt gave him a puzzled look. “The mall? You never go there voluntarily.”

Burt nodded his head. He turned to Kurt and looked him in the eye. “You’re going to need things…you know…for the baby.”

Kurt’s spine stiffened almost on its own accord. Most people would be excited at the prospect of welcoming a new baby into the world, but Kurt found it hard to be really excited. On the one hand, he never thought he would get to have a child of his own and a part of him wanted a child. On the other hand, his ex-best friend Grace sort of drugged him and had sex with him when he was barely conscious and didn’t even bother to use a condom. The Incident.

He just turned sixteen. Kurt didn’t think he was ready to have a kid, but at the same time when he was trying to decide what he wanted to do, he found he couldn’t bear the thought of signing away his baby for adoption. Plus, though his father tried to remain impartial and allow Kurt to make the decision on his own, Kurt knew Burt was a little excited to have a grandchild of his own.

None of them had planned on having a baby to welcome to their household, but they were “rolling with the punches” as Burt put it.

And Kurt wasn’t afraid to admit he was terrified. That seemed to pretty much be the norm as of late.

When he woke up that November morning, he’d had no recollection of the night previous. All he could remember was arriving at Grace’s house, not thinking about the fact that her parents were out of town, and then her offering her a drink. He woke up scared and groggy, and his suspicions were only confirmed when he realized he and Grace were both naked in bed.

His first instinct had been to run. He’d put on his clothes as fast as he could, for once not giving a damn about fashion and looking presentable, and bolted. Grace had picked him up from his house, so he ran and ran until Grace’s house disappeared from view. It was a four mile walk from her house to his, but he didn’t care. Kurt spent most of the walk trying to come to terms with what he suspected had happened as well as trying to walk a straight line. Whatever she had slipped him, because there was no way he’d lose almost eleven hours without the help of a drug, it had made it very hard to move correctly.

And when he had gotten home almost two hours later, his father had already been at the shop. Kurt had taken a steaming hot shower in an attempt to scrub the dirtiness away. It was only when the water had nearly gone completely cold that Kurt started bawling, crying as hard as he had when his mother passed.

Kurt hid what had happened to him for months, feeling so deeply ashamed that he’d been taken advantage of by a girl who wasn’t nearly as strong as him. But when Grace’s parents called at the end of March, about four months after The Incident, angrily informing Burt that his son had gotten their little girl pregnant, the truth had come tumbling out. Part of him expected his father to be upset or disgusted with him, but Burt held him and they rocked and cried together.

The meeting between the Hummels and the Cooks had been beyond tense. Kurt had never met Grace’s parents, but seeing them glare at him from across his dining room table had him shrinking in his seat. Burt wouldn’t have any of it, though. His father waited with an amazing display of patience as they ranted about their baby girl’s life effectively ruined. When they were finished, eyeing the Hummels expectantly, Burt spoke eloquently and in a manner usually only displayed in politics.

The Cooks, like any parents would, had immediately denied their sweet daughter having the ability to do something so horrible, but even their arguments had effectively died when Grace burst into tears and all but confessed.

“It was just something to help you love me,” she had sobbed.

Kurt flinched still thinking about her parents’ faces. Her mother had stared at her daughter looking absolutely horrified and disgusted, and her father had paled significantly.

And when Grace had launched herself at Kurt in an attempt to hug him, the feminine boy had flung himself away violently and Burt had stepped in front of his son protectively. That had effectively ended their talk. Grace’s mother had to wrestle her into the car.

“Do you want to press charges?” her father had asked quietly.

It was amazing, the power of a single question. Did he want to press charges? Simply put, no. Kurt just wanted to forget about it. He wanted to wake up and find out everything was a dream. But instead, he had to realize that that was his reality. And through no fault of his own, Kurt was expecting a baby. He was going to be a daddy.

He’d cried himself sick at that discovery.

However, after a month of careful deliberation and seeing his therapist, Kurt had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t give up his baby. He didn’t consent to the baby’s conception, but a part of him just couldn’t punish his baby for that.

This realization, of course, didn’t help him get over his anger, bitterness, and resentment. He still hoped he’d wake up and discover everything was a nightmare, but with the help of his therapist Kurt was coming to terms with his life. He still wasn’t looking forward to how different and how much harder his life would be, but he wouldn’t change his mind.

Not when he saw how relieved his father had been when Kurt told him he wanted to keep the baby.

So after a couple of weeks of deliberation and negotiations, the Hummels agreed to not press charges and the Cooks agreed that Grace would sign away her parental rights after she gave birth as well as seek counseling. She hadn’t seemed too happy about it, but she didn’t really have much of a choice. Her parents recognized the deal for the gem it was. Despite the awfulness of her actions as well as the despairing consequences, Grace could avoid jail time and didn’t have to become an unwed teenage mother.

And the baby, who was a boy they later found out, would be properly cared for by a young man who was willing to give up his carefree life as a teenager to take care of a child who was but in a way shouldn’t be his responsibility.

“It kind of feels real,” Kurt said after a while. “Before I could pretend that I’m really not going to be a dad, but now we’re going to buy things and it’ll be real. I’ll really have a son.”

Burt nodded his head and put his hand on Kurt’s knee. “I am so proud of you,” he said softly. “I hate that this happened. I hate that I wasn’t able to protect you from something like this, but here you are, doing something you don’t have to because you feel it’s the right thing, and I couldn’t be more proud at how you turned out. You’re a lot like your mom, you know.”

Kurt sniffled and gave his father a watery smile. “Would she be?” he asked so quietly Burt had to strain to hear him.

“Absolutely,” Burt replied earnestly and without hesitation. “Now, we’ve put this off for as long as we could. I know the doctor’s say she’s due around the first week of August, but in all actuality the kid could come anywhere from now until that date. These things aren’t an exact science. So we’re going to get some stuff to be prepared. Okay?”

“I’m scared,” Kurt whispered. “What if I mess up? Or what if I’m just not cut out for this?”

“Hey,” his father murmured. “This parenting thing doesn’t come with a manual. There will be times where you want to pull your hair out or scream or cry or all of that. I can’t promise you that this will be easy, but I can promise you that I will be here every step of the way. You will not be alone in this, you hear me?”

Kurt wiped away his tears and nodded. “Put your seat belt on,” he demanded, ignoring when his father chuckled.

They drove to the mall, and Kurt was beyond ecstatic at how smooth his new car ran. Kurt eyed some of the stores there longingly, but ignored the urge to shop his heart out. He was going to be a parent, and as fabulous as his wardrobe was, Kurt realized that he’d have to shift his priorities.

Surprisingly, however, he had a really good time with his father. They’d bought everything that was essential for a little baby boy: bottles, wipes, diapers, onesies, bibs, a car seat (which Kurt made sure would not clash with the interior of his car), and a little baby bath. They also bought a beautiful crib that Kurt thought would look fabulous next to his bed as well as toys. Kurt thought he’d enjoy buying baby clothes, but he quickly discovered that the clothes simply didn’t match his standards. He had to buy some outfits, however, which he did grudgingly.

“You know, you’re pretty good at fashion and following directions,” Burt said nonchalantly. “You could always just make his clothes. That’s what your mom did. In fact, I’m pretty sure I still have some of your old things in the attic.”

That had stopped Kurt dead in his tracks. He’d never thought about making clothes, only keeping up with the latest trends. But if he could make the clothes… The wheels turned in his head.

With that, Kurt also added fabrics and a How-To book in their shopping cart. They were about to leave the mall when Kurt’s stomach growled uncomfortably. Burt laughed and together they loaded the Navigator before walking back to the food court where they settled down to have dinner.

Kurt gasped, his fork stopping halfway to his mouth. “Dad, we forgot about the shop and Jimmy!”

Burt snorted around his pizza. “You kidding me? I told him to lock up. I knew shopping with you would take a million years.”

Kurt pouted before taking a bite of his salad and sighing in bliss. “You know what, dad? I’ve been thinking a lot lately…”

“Go on,” Burt said, eyeing his son suspiciously.

“I was wondering if you could maybe help me…get into shape?” Kurt asked hesitantly.

Burt put his pizza down and wiped his mouth. “May I ask why?”

Kurt shrugged, moving his fork around but not taking another bite. “I just… I just want to be able to take care of myself. I want to be stronger and not worry about someone overpowering me ever again…”

It was silent for a few moments before Kurt felt his father nudge his foot. He looked up and found Burt staring at him. “Of course I will,” he said softly. “As a matter of fact, why don’t I do it with you?”

Kurt blinked, a little stunned before his lips stretched into a smile. “You will?”

“Yeah.” Burt nodded. “We’ll both get into shape.”

“And you’ll start eating healthier?” Kurt looked at the greasy pizza pointedly.

Burt grimaced, but nodded his head again. “We’ll have to lay some ground rules. I can’t cut a lifetime of eating habits so quickly, but I’ll try. Okay?”

“Deal!” Kurt grinned. They ate the rest of their dinner in a comfortable silence.

“This was nice,” Burt said as they walked back to the car. He yawned, surprised that Kurt managed to make him spend several hours in the mall. “It’s been a while since we’ve really spent time like this together.”

“I had fun,” Kurt confessed. “You know, after The Incident and everything, I’ve been feeling like I was drowning. No matter how many times I talked to Dr. Prescott, I just couldn’t feel better.”

“Kurt, it’s going to take a long time for you to really get over what happened,” his father said gently. “But we’ll get through it. Nobody messes with the Hummels, yeah?”

Kurt nodded. “I feel better; lighter, almost. And I just want to say thanks. For, you know, being awesome.”

Burt pulled him into a hug. “I always have your back.”

Kurt squeezed his father tighter, inhaling the Old Spice his father adored. “I’m glad you’re you.”

And with that, they made their way home. Exhausted from their day, they agreed to unload the car the next morning. Burt kissed his head before they both went to shower and change into their pajamas. Without another word, the Hummels settled onto the couch to watch an episode of Deadliest Catch and Project Runway. They were both asleep before long, Kurt snuggled into his father’s warm protective embrace.


	2. Rachel Berry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Burt get Kurt's room ready for the baby, and later Kurt befriends Rachel.

Kurt woke up warm and content. One glance at the clock on the wall showed it was only five in the morning. He stretched like a cat for a moment before extracting himself from his father's side and walking down the stairs to his room in the basement. It was the first night in a long time that Kurt hadn't had any awful dreams, or rather his repressed memories as his shrink told him.

Kurt stripped as he walked to the bathroom, dropping his clothes as he went and shivering at the slight chill. When the water was blissfully steamy, he hopped in and sighed in relief. The water cascaded down his back and for a moment Kurt just leaned against the cool shower tiles. After The Incident, Kurt's love for showers grew. It felt like the hot water could wash away the shame, humiliation, and bitterness.

He was feeling better than he had these last few months, and after he and his father bonded yesterday he finally felt truly clean.

When Kurt finally got out of the shower, it was a quarter after six. He dressed in his most comfy clothes; an old short-sleeved v-neck that had belonged to his mother, and a soft pair of his dad's sweatpants that he nicked from the laundry months ago. He ran up the stairs quickly, creeping out of the house when he noticed his dad was still sleeping. Kurt hummed softly to himself as he unloaded his Navigator, dropping bags off at the front door to make multiple trips quickly.

By the time he was done, Burt had woken up and made a pot of coffee. "Hey, you could've woke me up. I would've helped you," he said, handing Kurt a mug.

Kurt eyed the mug warily and sniffed it. A smile broke out on his face as he realized it was tea. It wasn't that he disliked coffee. In fact, he was a bit of an addict when he had the right cup. It's just his father's coffee was always too strong, too bitter. He took a long sip before replying, "I know, but you looked tired. All I did was bring the bags inside. I'll still need help taking them downstairs and assembling the crib."

Burt smiled. "Alright, yeah. How about we eat some breakfast first? Then we'll get everything set up in your room. Did you want to go to the attic and see what of your old things we can find?"

Kurt nodded his head. "I completely forgot about getting a baby carriage and a bassinet," he commented.

"I didn't. We have your old ones upstairs. I thought you'd want to use those. Your mom picked them out."

A comfortable silence filled the room. "I think I'd like that," Kurt finally said softly.

After breakfast, Burt left to shower while Kurt began taking some of the baby things to his room. He'd made space in his dresser right after he'd decided to keep the baby. Turning on his stereo, Kurt bobbed his head and sang along as he put away his son's (and wasn't that just so weird to say, even in his head) things. He hadn't realized how many things he'd bought until the dresser drawers were stuffed to the brim with onesies, bibs, burping cloths, blankets, and clothes.

Kurt was startled when there was a loud bang, followed by a "Damn it!"

"Dad?" he called, quickly sprinting up the stairs. Burt was holding his foot, muttering under his breath. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Burt grunted. He gestured at the rocking chair next to him. "I dropped the damn thing on my foot."

Kurt gaped at the piece of furniture. He remembered his mother rocking him in it after a particularly rough day at school, singing softly and petting his hair. "Wow," he breathed. "I haven't seen this in forever." He glanced at his father and shook his head fondly. "Let me see your foot."

Burt rolled his eyes but let his son fuss at him. "I found the bassinet, but I can't find the carriage." He made to get up to get it, but Kurt held him down.

"Rest your foot, dad. I'll get it." Kurt didn't give his dad a chance to reply, opting to immediately go up the stairs for the bassinet and ignoring his father's complaints about how he wasn't crippled.

The bassinet was folded up and propped on the wall next to the door. He made to grab it, but his eye caught a box with his name on it. There were several boxes, actually, and all of them had his name in his mother's handwriting. Kurt's Toys, Kurt's Clothes, Kurt's Photos. He immediately opened the box with the clothes in it and sighed softly when his mother's perfume wafted towards him. It was a little stale and faint, but it was there. Grabbing one of the shirts, he brought it to his face and inhaled deeply.

Kurt remembered she'd worn this particular perfume all the time. It was a gift from his father, she'd told him with a smile. This scent was what would lull him to sleep many nights.

He didn't know how long he stood there, smelling the remnants of his mother's perfume and reminiscing before he felt his father's large hand on his shoulder. They shared a moment of silence, both missing the woman who made their day so much brighter with her mere presence.

"Come on," Burt said roughly. "I'm thinking after we finish setting everything up in the room, we can get started on this whole getting in shape thing."

Kurt nodded, wiping away tears he didn't know he'd shed.

Putting together the crib was more difficult than Kurt would have thought. All of the pieces looked the same in his eyes, and the pictures in the instructions weren't all that helpful. Neither was his father, who laughed himself silly at Kurt's obliviousness before getting on the floor to help him. Kurt absently wondered if he'd do this with his own son, but then shook his head to clear it. His son wasn't even born. No way in hell was he going to think about something that he would do his damndest to make sure was going to happen when his son was in his late twenties, possibly mid-thirties.

"You ok?" Burt asked, eyeing Kurt amusedly.

"Did you ever think of us doing this?" the countertenor asked suddenly.

Burt looked surprised for a moment. "Yeah, I did," he replied. "Of course, I always thought you'd be older. And then when you told me you were gay, I thought it wasn't going to happen." When Kurt winced, he continued, "And if it didn't and you decided you didn't want kids, that would've been fine. Or if you decided to adopt, that would've worked, too."

Kurt nodded his head. It made sense. Granted, he couldn't imagine being a grandfather now that he was just barely getting used to the idea of being a father, but he figured it was something normal. Something older fathers did once they realized they were having a boy.

"Did you and mom ever want more kids?"

Burt hummed contemplatively. "It was something we had talked about, but then forgotten when she got sick. She had wanted you to have a sibling growing up."

"But she got sick when I was seven," Kurt murmured.

Burt visibly saddened, and Kurt inwardly cursed himself. "No, Kurt. Your mom got sick when you were two," his father said softly. "She did chemo, and then she went into remission. It wasn't until you were seven that she relapsed, and it was easier to tell you that she had just gotten sick instead of explaining everything."

Kurt nodded and ignored the pain in his heart. He hesitated for a moment before asking, "How do you think she'd react to, you know, all of this?"

Burt sighed. "Oh, Kurt. Your mother…she was a firecracker. That's what attracted me to her in the first place, you know. She always believed that you should stand up for what was right, even if it meant standing alone." The elder Hummel smiled wistfully. "To answer your question, I fully believe we would have had to bail your mother out of jail in response to all of this."

Kurt was startled into laughter. "Seriously?"

"Your mother was as sweet as they come, but hurt her family and…" Burt laughed and shook his head. "God, I loved that about her."

It was bittersweet, his father telling him about his mother. They both missed her terribly, but it was getting easier to talk about all of the good memories they still had of her. By the time the afternoon rolled around, the room was in tip-top shape. Kurt separated the basement into two sections. The first section was the entertainment area where he had his TV, fold-out couch, DVDs, computer, books, and his desk. The second section was his bedroom area which was rearranged and now had a crib, changing table, and bassinet along with his own stuff.

After a quick, healthy lunch, the pair journeyed outside to join the local gym. Of course, Kurt begged his father to let him drive the Navigator, which Burt allowed with an indulgent smile. To show his appreciation, Kurt hooked up his iPhone and sang Mellencamp with his father the whole ride there.

Working out at the gym was definitely not something Kurt had ever thought he'd do. For one, a good portion of the homophobes in Lima frequented the gym. But after The Incident, Kurt never wanted to be taken advantage of ever again. He could understand that what happened wasn't his fault and he didn't have any control of it, but he was a boy. As much as he hated gender roles and found himself easily slipping into ambiguity where they were concerned, Kurt was a boy and he needed to be strong enough to take care of himself.

He didn't want to beef up like, say, Puckerman from school, but he did want to be able to defend himself.

Truth be told, Kurt enjoyed his time at the gym with his father. He hated sweating and he hated his hair getting messed up, but he enjoyed laughing with his father as they both realized just how out of shape they were. Kurt wasn't as out of shape as his father, which he attributed to the long hours he spent practicing his dancing in the privacy of his room, but not being able to run for twenty minutes on the treadmill without losing his breath embarrassed him.

Burt was definitely worse off. That was probably because after Elizabeth passed, he didn't really bother to take care of himself. Not the way he should have, at least. He made sure he and Kurt were fed every day, but he didn't work on taking care of his body past that. Still, the father and son enjoyed their bonding over the pain they felt every time they tried to move by the end of the session.

"Dad?"

Kurt was driving back to their house where they both planned on taking long showers. At first Kurt had planned to shower at the gym, but once he had seen the showers he had all but run from the room screaming, leaving Burt no choice but to follow him laughing all the while.

"Hm?"

Kurt chewed on his lip a little. "I was thinking…well, what I wanted to…um…" He took a deep breath. "I want to get a tattoo."

Burt cocked an eyebrow at him. "I thought you didn't want to mar your 'perfectly smooth alabaster skin' and that they were distasteful?" He didn't sound accusing, simply curious.

Kurt nodded his head. "Some of them are distasteful. Why get something stupid like a unicorn that will only look like a pterodactyl when you turn ninety?" He smiled as his father chuckled. "I guess if a unicorn meant something to someone I'd understand why they'd want it. And given everything that happened recently, I want one to mean something to me."

Burt nodded his head, still looking thoughtful. "And what did you want to get?"

"I was doing some research…" Kurt paused nervously, tightening and loosening his grip on the steering wheel, continuing only at his father's reassuring nod. "On the support forum Dr. Prescott recommended, one of the users posted a picture of her tattoo. It's called the Survivor's Mark, and it's for people who overcame s-sexual abuse. It's two palm prints, one black and one a sort of yellow-ish gold. The black signifies the darkness that touched me, and the gold signifies the light to fight the darkness. And as I was reading the creator's story, I felt a little bit stronger. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor. So I wanted to get that tattooed on me along with their motto: Marked, but not maimed. Bent, but not broken."

It was silent in the car for a moment. Burt let out a shaky sigh, and Kurt realized his father was struggling to hold it together. "It's your body, Kurt," Burt said after a moment. "It is your body, and you can do what you want with it. I won't take away that choice from you."

Kurt teared up. Hearing that made his heart clench, but not painfully. It was a statement he had always believed until The Incident ripped that belief away from him. "Dad…"

"But we need to establish some ground rules," Burt continued. "You'll pay for your own tattoos."

"Okay," Kurt said excitedly, wiping away his tears.

"You have to properly take care of them, and that means also getting them at an accredited tattoo parlor. I don't want you to get infected or sick from them."

Kurt huffed. "Dad, that's kind of a given. I don't want to ruin my body."

"And please, please, please," his father pleaded, continuing as if he didn't hear his son, "don't get a naked man inked on you."

The countertenor burst into laughter. "No way!" He gave his father a sly look. "By the time I'm an old man he won't look hot anymore."

The pair shared another laugh before Burt spoke up again. "Honestly, Kurt, I think it'd be a beautiful tattoo. It's something meaningful, something you won't regret later in life."

Kurt smiled. The rest of the drive was done in comfortable silence. When they arrived home, they quickly escaped to their respective bathrooms to shower. It was nearing the early evening, and Burt wanted to check on the shop. Kurt dressed rather casually so he could help out. While he wasn't scheduled to work today, Kurt more often than not ended up helping out whenever he went there.

Having grown up surrounded by cars, Kurt certainly shared his father's passion. If he was at the shop and stuff needed to be done, he generally helped out without a problem since most of the time he was free due to his lack of a social life. In the long run it really helped the shop run more smoothly. Though it was rare, there have been times when Burt hired an unreliable employee and Kurt had had to fill in on short notice. They had an excellent team now consisting of some guys that Kurt had known since he was in diapers and a few newer people, but Kurt still liked to lend a hand whenever it was possible.

When he went upstairs, his father wasn't out of the shower yet. He took a seat on the couch and started playing with his phone. He didn't have to wait too long before his father was ready and they were whisked away to the shop. Burt made a beeline towards Jimmy who looked completely unsurprised but happy to see him.

While the two disappeared into the office to talk (and probably go over inventory), Kurt greeted the crew and set about finding something to do. He happily plugged in his iPhone and let his eclectic taste in music fill the shop. Sometimes a song came on that everybody knew and they all sang along. Kurt especially loved when Greased Lightning came on and several of the guys tried to dance along. They didn't complain when some of his favorite show tunes came on, and Kurt loved that they were open about his music.

Time passed without much fuss. Burt and Jimmy were in the office for a while going over inventory and things before rejoining the rest of the crew to help out. Kurt busied himself with cleaning until his father sent one of the guys home early and let Kurt take his place.

Shortly before the shop was set to close, a car pulled up. Kurt blinked as the entire family stepped out. He recognized the girl immediately. She went to McKinley high and was a part of Mr. Ryerson's glee club. Kurt wasn't sure how anybody could willingly spend time with a creepy guy like him, but then again the girl before him wasn't exactly known for being all there.

She wasn't stupid by any means. No, Rachel Berry was actually quite smart. But she was also a diva (he'd seen one of her MySpace videos, and good GOD the horrible barrage of derogatory comments would have made many people think twice about continuing to post them) and she had an overbearing, condescending personality. Kurt didn't know her personally, but he'd seen her taking a slushie or two to the face, and he'd also seen her speaking rather harshly to her fellow glee club member Hank.

He eyed her two dads with a curious air. It took a lot of guts to be openly gay in a town as close minded as Lima, Ohio (and he would know). They weren't bad looking for older gentlemen, but considering how their daughter had turned out, Kurt was a little wary about speaking to them. Don't judge a book by its cover, he thought to himself. He didn't know them, and had only seen them occasionally in the mall or the supermarket, so he'd have to withhold judgment.

"Hi, welcome to Hummel Tires & Lube," he said generically with a smile. "What can we do for you today?"

One of the men smiled. "Hi, yes, we need an oil change and we need to have our brakes checked out," he replied. "I think it may need more fluid, but I'd like to err on the side of caution."

Kurt smiled before going into professional mode and gathering all of their information. For an older car (1996 Ford Taurus), it was obviously well loved and taken care of. "And have you been here before?"

The bespectacled one, Hiram, answered this time. "No, we normally go to Mitchell's, but their prices are just getting ridiculous."

Kurt nodded sympathetically. "I've been hearing that a lot," he murmured. And he had. But one auto shop's loss in customers was their gain, so he wasn't exactly complaining about it. "If you want to take a seat, I'll get started and we'll have her ready for you shortly."

"You're a mechanic?"

Kurt looked at Rachel Berry and cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Is that a problem?" he asked politely, but his tone shifted ever-so-slightly. A lot of people thought that because he was gay or because his voice was high or because he was into fashion that he didn't know about cars. He practically grew up in the auto shop. How could he not know about cars? How could he not develop a love for them as deep as his father's?

"Rachel!" Hiram looked scandalized and LeRoy cocked an eyebrow at her.

Rachel flushed. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that! It's just, I've seen you at school, you know. And you're always so concerned with fashion and your appearance and being a mechanic means getting dirty and you just didn't seem the type and I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend! I promise I'm not homophobic; these are obviously my two gay dads!"

Kurt looked at her in shock and amusement. He wasn't expecting that, and while it was kind of funny to watch, it was also like watching a train wreck. It was something he wanted to look away from, but found he couldn't. "Apology accepted," he said slowly. "I'm just going to go do that oil change now…"

He left as smoothly as he could, barely holding in a snort as LeRoy lightly chastised her. He worked efficiently, humming along to the music that was still playing. Just when he was nearly done, one of his favorite show tunes came on. Kurt couldn't stop smiling as he wiggled his hips a little to the beat. Before he could start singing, however, Rachel Berry beat him to it.

"Every single day / I walk down the street / I hear people say / 'Baby's so sweet'," she sang, and Kurt was momentarily taken aback.

She had a beautiful voice. He knew she was in glee club, and he had even seen one or two of her videos, but hearing her in person was somehow different. Her voice was strong and clear, easily hitting the notes perfectly. A part of him was very miffed about her taking Maureen's part, but she was doing a pretty good job of it. It was obvious that she sung this song before, and probably a lot. It was one of his favorite parts to sing and perhaps before The Incident changed and matured him, he would have thrown a diva fit the size of China, but now he just stopped to appreciate a job well done.

"It won't work / I look before I leap / I love margins and discipline / I make lists in my sleep baby," Kurt sang, ignoring the surprised noise Rachel made in favor of working on the car. He loved this song, and ultimately it didn't really matter which part he sang.

Before he knew it, him and Rachel were singing their hearts out as if they weren't in the shop getting her car's oil changed. Rachel hopped around, obviously seeing this as a performance and acting accordingly. Kurt let it slide since he himself was enjoying singing the duet with someone of his caliber, and their voices meshed in a way he hadn't expected. There were probably quite a few songs they could sing that would fit their voices beautifully, but Kurt wasn't sure if their unexpected duet would flourish into something more or die as a spontaneous act of harmony.

The song came to a close, and Kurt nearly jumped when the clapping started. Hiram, LeRoy, and Burt were applauding.

"I knew you had a set of pipes, Kurt, but wow. That was incredible," his father praised.

Kurt felt himself blush. He hadn't realized his father was right there, and he had even forgotten about Hiram and LeRoy.

Rachel beamed and did a small bow before turning on Kurt, who took a small step back. "That was amazing! You are vocally talented," she said, her voice too perky and chipper. "I think you will make an excellent Judy Garland to my Barbra Streisand!"

Kurt blinked, temporarily thrown for a loop and unsure of what to say. "Right," he settled for, because he honestly didn't know how else he was supposed to react. It was a random thing to say.

"What's your range? Can you only sing the high notes? Do you like any other musicals? Grease? Wicked? What about th—?"

"Rachel, honey, calm down," Hiram said, patting her shoulder soothingly.

Kurt stared at her wide eyed before he turned to LeRoy and started talking about the car. It was easier to talk about cars than about him singing. When they'd been friends, Grace hadn't been very caring about his singing talent. She'd only cared about fashion and any other interests were put on the back burner. Before long Burt had engaged the other men in a conversation about payment and advice and Kurt left to wash his hands.

When he came out, the men were still talking and Rachel was staring at him with a fidgety air. He offered her a small smile, and that was enough for her to practically march towards him.

"So, um, I think your voice compliments mine in an unparalleled display of talent and it would be a waste if we didn't sing again," she said. She sounded a little snotty, but Kurt could easily see how nervous and painfully hopeful she was.

It hit him that she most likely didn't have many, if any, friends. Having been there, Kurt unexpectedly felt a wave of sympathy and eyed her. He really did have a nice time singing, but he was still very much scarred from Grace's betrayal. With a glance at the older men, he noticed Burt constantly gazing over at him with an encouraging smile.

He stared at Rachel again, who started playing with the hem of her shirt and was avoiding his gaze. He was a soon-to-be dad and so hurt by Grace that he almost wanted to snub Rachel's hidden offer of friendship to avoid being hurt again. But at the same time, it was very nice to have a friend. And while Grace and their friendship ended in the most horrifying of ways, he didn't think Rachel would be the same. As the daughter of a gay couple, she knew the adversity he faced, and she also wouldn't have any expectations of making him straight.

So, heart thudding in his chest, Kurt decided to take a leap of faith and pulled out his phone.

"How about we exchange numbers and meet up before school starts again?" he said casually.

Rachel's head snapped up and she couldn't completely hide her shock or relief before she beamed. She pulled out a bedazzled phone (and lord that was hard for Kurt to stare at) and they exchanged numbers, Rachel being much more enthusiastic as she pressed the keys.

When the Berry family left with smiles of gratitude and an almost aggressive promise to text, Kurt started to clean up his mess and put things away.

"Made a new friend, Kurt?" Burt asked with a grin. He was obviously happy over the development. "You guys sounded amazing."

Kurt blushed. "Thanks, daddy."

They closed the shop in amiable silence, and Kurt snorted with laughter when he noticed Rachel had already texted him. His fingers flew over the screen as he texted back, and for the first time in months he realized that things truly were looking up.


	3. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The newest addition to the Hummel family finally arrives.

Chapter 3 – Arrival

Kurt awoke when his phone beeped, signaling a text message. He groaned and put his pillow over his head in a feeble attempt to drown out the annoying spam. He didn’t get much sleep last night, having stayed up very late to talk to an excited Rachel. Despite them being friends for about a month, the younger girl always seemed so excited to actually have someone to talk to. Kurt couldn’t exactly blame her. He’d been in her shoes once, so he understood more than most that simple conversation with a peer really made a difference in someone’s life.

And talking all night with Rachel Berry was surprisingly easy. They had a lot of common interests, more than what he thought was possible. In a way they were almost too similar. It was nice, though, to have a friend that loved the exact same movies and show tunes and passions as him. It was yet another difference between his friendship with Rachel and his past one with Grace, and he was grateful.

She was turning out to be a good friend. Kurt felt a little bad about keeping her in the dark regarding his impending parenthood, but he didn’t want her treating him differently. And a part of him was very worried that she’d go running into the hills. In a way it felt like he was deceiving her by not revealing something that would be such a huge part of him, but he couldn’t help but want to be her friend without worrying about his son for just a bit longer.

With a sigh, he managed to drag himself out of bed and rubbed his tired eyes. Whoever texted him had better be dying or something similar to spam his phone so much. Still disoriented, he blinked at his phone blearily…and kept blinking. It was a few moments before he could breathe again and he jumped into action.

(5:52 A.M.) Kurt, this is Sandra Cook. Grace’s water broke ten minutes ago. We’re taking her to the hospital.

(5:59 A.M.) Kurt, Sandra again. We’re at the hospital. Room 181.

(7:18 A.M.) Sandra. Grace is only four centimeters. It should be a few hours.

(8:42 A.M.) Six centimeters now.

Kurt cursed and rapidly began putting on clothes. “DAD!” he yelled.

It didn’t take long before he heard his father’s footsteps racing down the stairs. Burt saw Kurt nearly dressed. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked slightly panicky.

“It’s time,” Kurt croaked out. He shoved the phone into his father’s hand and watched as Burt read. Kurt’s eyes were wide and he wanted nothing more than to panic because his son was going to be born today and he had to step up to the plate and hope to be a father like his own and what if—

Burt pulled Kurt into a hug. “Breathe with me,” he murmured, feeling Kurt slow his breathing to move in time with Burt’s breaths. When he felt Kurt was calm enough, he continued, “Labor takes hours. The norm is anywhere between ten and twelve, but Grace is only sixteen so it can be different. Regardless, the baby isn’t coming right now. We have a little time. I’m going to get dressed, and I know you hate it but we’re going to have to get some fast food for breakfast. We’ll eat on the way to the hospital, and we’ll get through this. Okay?”

Kurt let out a sigh and nodded his head, feeling much calmer. He quickly typed out a reply and finished getting dressed. When they were ready, they loaded into Kurt’s Navigator and turned on some music. Burt put a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, and that was enough to distract Kurt of his racing heart and gnawing fear.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Kurt was nearly ready to throw up. The greasy food sat in his stomach heavily, and the walk to Grace’s room made him feel heavier. Still, he put one foot in front of the other, and with his father at his side Kurt found the feeling became manageable.

With only another moment of hesitation, Kurt plucked his courage, remembered that nobody pushes a Hummel, and he knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

It was interesting, to say the least, seeing Grace and her parents again. The last time they saw each other was that awful night, and all further negotiations regarding their entwined futures was handled by their parents. Kurt hadn’t laid eyes on Grace since she confessed to drugging him, and it was surprisingly easy to see her face. A lot of that had to do with his father making him see a shrink, and he didn’t feel panicked nausea being around Grace again. No, he felt that way because of the situation; because it was too soon for him to be a father, but for the life of him he couldn’t find it in himself to give his baby up.

Kurt was surprised to feel angry at her. He’d had nightmares about this moment; about what he’d feel when he had to face her because of the birth of his son. He’d anticipated still feeling hurt, lost, betrayed, and sick. But anger had never been what he imagined. Kurt had every right to be angry. His life was going to be forever changed, and she was basically getting off scot-free. It wasn’t fair. Yes, he’d chosen to keep the baby, but in a way even that wasn’t a choice. She decided to drug him. She decided to have sex with him. She decided to not use a condom.

But she wasn’t really getting off scot-free, was she?

One look at the bags under her eyes, her tangled hair, the acne gracing her once flawless skin and Kurt could tell that she paid for her decision, but differently. It was too late for an abortion when she came clean to her parents about her pregnancy. Her fabled tale of her and Kurt spending a night of passion together proved false when she confessed that she drugged him. She lost her maternal rights in an effort to stay out of jail. Grace’s life unraveled just as much as Kurt’s, but the difference was that Kurt could live with himself with the decisions he’d made.

And maybe Grace didn’t regret what she did now, but in ten or twenty years, when she was older and maybe had more kids or even met someone who could love her back, maybe then she’d look at this point of her life and be properly ashamed.

Because Kurt couldn’t believe that the first girl he befriended could turn out to be completely evil and rotten.

That didn’t stop him from feeling angry, or even a bit of hatred towards her. But maybe, perhaps, losing her son would be enough punishment for now. Kurt wasn’t a devout person by any means, but he liked the idea of karma. He liked the idea that everybody that had ever tormented him would get their comeuppance in due time, and Grace’s name was added to a long list.

“Kurt,” Grace whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. Some escaped her eyes and rolled down her face, but Kurt stared at her impassively. His resolve hardened, and the nerves he felt for most of the morning seemed to dissipate. “Please, please you can’t do this.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Kurt said quietly. He wanted to put on his bitchiest glare and sneer at her, but that was childish, and he had to be the mature one.

Grace let out a small sob. “It’s not fair!” she cried. “I helped create him. I deserve to—”

Kurt cut her off. “You deserve to go to jail for what you did to me,” he said tightly. “And the last thing you deserve to be part of the baby’s life. You’re capable of rape. Who knows what else you’re capable of?”

Whatever pity Kurt had felt at Grace losing her maternal rights died a swift death. While he did believe it was wrong to keep a parent away from their child, he also believed that keeping her away from his baby was the right decision. She raped him; why should she get a say in what happens in the baby’s life? If the tables had been turned, if she were a boy and he a girl, there would be absolutely no question that Grace would never be involved in the baby’s life.

The room grew awkward, and uncomfortable. Burt had his arms crossed over his chest, and he obviously was trying to withhold his own scathing remarks. He supported his son, and the only reason he controlled his temper in regards to Grace was because of her age. Her parents obviously wanted to protect their daughter, but at the same time they couldn’t protect her from everything. She’d made a bad decision, and she had to face the consequences. Grace wasn’t in the right mind to raise a child.

“I can fight,” Grace whispered.

Kurt cocked an eyebrow. “You can try,” he corrected. “While any physical evidence of what you did to me is gone, I do have an audio recording of you confessing.” And he did. It was a spur of the moment thing, to set up a tape recorder when the Cooks had come over. He didn’t know if he could use it in court, but the threat along would ensure that the Cooks, particularly Grace, would stay away.

Grace gaped. She stared at him before sniffling. “The Kurt I knew was kind and compassionate.”

Kurt shrugged. “The Grace I knew would never have raped me. I guess we didn’t know each other very well.” He let her digest that for a moment before he spoke again. “I’ll wait outside. Once the baby is born, we can sign the papers and not cross paths again.”

Grace’s mother, Sandra, gave him a brittle smile. She seemed to have aged since they last saw each other, and he could understand her and even feel bad for her. But he wouldn’t change his mind.

He left the room with little fuss, his father behind him. He could hear Grace beg her parents for help, but her cries were cut off with her father’s stern remarks and her mother’s soft yet firm replies. They wouldn’t change their minds, either. It must be hard for them to come to terms with the fact that the sweet daughter they raised had the capacity to do something so horrible.

“Do you think she’ll really fight?” Kurt asked his father after the silence got to him. They had walked down the hall to sit in the waiting room. It was full with family members, some excited fathers and some nervous ones. There was the occasional distressed and distraught man, but Kurt wasn’t paying a lot of attention to them. He had enough on his plate right now.

Burt let out a heavy sigh. “The girl is kind of a wild card,” he admitted with a grimace, “and can really benefit from seeing a therapist. Will she fight? I don’t know. It’s obvious she wants to, but anyone who thinks it’s okay to slip someone a drug to ‘help’ them love her isn’t fit to raise a child. I know this, you know this, and her parents know this. They will prevent her from trying, and if she’s insistent, well, we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Kurt nodded his head. There was a long moment of silence before he blandly remarked, “My life never used to be this complicated.”

Burt let out a snort before he shook his head, and Kurt smiled. The next couple of hours were spent waiting. The pair both took turns alternating between playing on their phones and pacing.

Kurt’s cell phone went off. He grabbed it quickly and, seeing Rachel calling, answered it with a quiet, “Hello.”

“Hello, Kurt!” Rachel greeted as enthusiastic as ever. “I was wondering if we were still on for a movie night at my house.”

Kurt winced; he completely forgot he’d made plans with her. “I…sorry, Rachel, something came up. I can’t tonight.”

“But,” Rachel protested, “tonight we were going to watch RENT!”

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I really can’t. This is important.”

“Are you okay? Is your dad okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

“What?! No, Rachel, honestly I’m fine,” Kurt insisted, feeling rather incredulous.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Kurt frowned at how pushy he was, but before he could reply, he saw Sandra come into the waiting room. “I’ll explain everything later, Rachel, but I have to go now,” he said. He hung up before she could ask more questions and put his phone on vibrate before shoving it in his pocket. Burt was already on his feet and talking with Sandra.

His father turned to him. “Show time,” he said softly. “Did you want to be in the room?”

Kurt nearly recoiled. Did he want to see his son being born? No way. Just thinking about lady parts being stretched and bloody to squeeze a tiny human out was making him green. One glance at Sandra’s nonchalant expression and Kurt knew that she wanted to be there for her daughter, but was willing to allow him to do that because he’d been wronged.

“No, no, that’s okay,” Kurt hurried to state. “I’ll just wait on the outside.”

Sandra gave him a small smile, obviously relieved. She nodded her head and left.

Burt gave his son a firm pat on the back and the Hummels returned to waiting. Kurt’s phone buzzed a few times, no doubt Rachel trying to call him back, but he ignored it. He took several deep breaths to further calm himself. His son would be born soon. He’d given a lot of thought to the name over the past few months, and it wasn’t until just over six weeks ago that he discovered the perfect one. Kurt hadn’t shared it with his father yet, and he knew the older man was incredibly curious, but he wanted it to be a surprise.

It wasn’t until another couple of hours that they were greeted by Grace’s father, Brian. “The baby’s been moved to the observation room,” he said softly. “But he’s healthy. Seventeen inches and seven pounds twelve ounces.”

Burt nodded cordially at him before turning to Kurt. “Want to go meet him?” he inquired.

Kurt nodded shakily before he stood up and followed Brian. He could see a lot of babies through the glass window, most of them swaddled in pink blankets. It wasn’t until the nurse, spotting Brian, picked up a baby and brought him to the window that Kurt laid eyes on his son.

The baby was gorgeous in a way that most babies weren’t. Maybe that was his own bias speaking, but Kurt had always held the opinion that most babies were born ugly as hell. Their skin was still wrinkly and they looked more like an alien than a human. But here, gazing at his son with hungry eyes, he couldn’t help but think that his little baby boy was perfect. He had a button nose, full pouty mouth, and almond shaped eyes. Kurt twitched when he saw some of Grace in his son’s chin, ears, and cheekbones.

“Do you have a name?” Brian asked quietly.

Kurt looked at him and nodded. “Ethan,” he replied. “Ethan Burt Hummel.”

His father let out a sound akin to a whimper, but it was ignored.

Brian nodded. “It’s a good name,” he said. His smile was a little fixed. “I don’t know why Grace did what she did,” he said suddenly. His eyes became wet. “She…we didn’t raise her that way. And Sandra and I have had a hard time coming to terms with the little girl we raised and this ugly thing she did.”

“She’s young,” Burt replied. “Young, and although not by any means stupid, doesn’t fully understand the repercussions of her actions.”

Brian’s lips thinned. He wanted to defend his daughter, but what she did was inexcusable and not defendable. “I know it means very little, but we are…greatly despaired…at all that happened,” he said carefully.

Kurt was thankful he didn’t say sorry. He’d had enough of feeling sorry for himself these past few months, and he didn’t want anyone else’s sorrow. He wanted to move on with his life regardless of how apprehensive he was. Kurt observed Brian, saw the quiet longing in his gaze as he stared at his grandson, and came to a decision.

“If…” He paused to clear his throat. “If you and Mrs. Cook want, I can send you pictures of Ethan,” he offered quietly. He could feel his father’s gaze burn into the side of his head, but he ignored it and continued. “I don’t want Grace to have any part in his life. I don’t trust her, and I think she’s too unstable to be around a child. But I also believe that you and Mrs. Cook didn’t ask for this either, and I don’t mind sending pictures as he grows up.”

Brian stared at him, his eyes still wet and the muscles in his throat twitched. He licked his lips. “I know I would,” he confessed softly. “I’ll have to talk to my wife.”

Kurt nodded. “You have my phone number.” He let the silence fill the air for a moment as all three of them watched as Ethan was once again placed in the bassinet. “Did Grace sign the papers yet?”

“She did.” They turned to Sandra who gave them a worn out expression. She continued, “Grace needs a few moments to herself.”

Kurt nodded understandingly. “When will Ethan be ready for me to take home?”

Sandra visibly startled at the name before regaining some composure. “It’ll be a few days. He’s a healthy baby, so keeping him a few days is just routine.”

Burt clasped his son on the shoulder and led him away from the Cooks. He enveloped Kurt in a big, warm hug. They didn’t need to say any words and just enjoyed the comfort of the embrace.

Brian had used the time to talk to Sandra, and judging by her blotchy yet happy expression, they were going to take Kurt up on his offer. Soon after, Kurt was presented with the birth certificate to sign. He didn’t get the chance to hold Ethan before they had to leave, but Kurt would be returning the next day, and Ethan would be going home with him in the next three.

The Hummels left the hospital with little fuss. They didn’t see Grace again, which Kurt was thankful for, and the drive was uneventful. When they arrived home, Burt was quick to dress and leave for work, and Kurt finally checked his phone. He missed six calls, nine text messages, and three voicemails from Rachel.

He took a deep breath before going through them all. They pretty much said the same thing, wondering if he was okay, why he canceled, and if she had done anything wrong. Kurt gripped his phone tightly, and wondered if he’d lose his currently only friend over everything.

The phone rang only twice before Rachel picked up. “Hello? Kurt? Is everything okay? I didn’t do anything to offend you, right?”

Kurt winced at her worried tone. “No, Rachel, you didn’t do anything. What happened today was just something important I had to do, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Rachel paused for a moment. “…you’re not into drugs, are you? Because recreational drug usage can damage your vocal chords, and it is not the answer to whatever problems you may have! I highly recommend exercise, or eve—”

“Rachel, I’m not a druggie,” Kurt deadpanned. “I…actually, do you mind coming over? So we can talk face to face?”

There was a moment of silence before Rachel blurted out, “If you’re going to break off our friendship, I’d much rather it being done over the phone so that I—”

Kurt rubbed his face tiredly. “Rachel, I don’t want to end our friendship. I…I really like being friends with you,” he admitted. “But I haven’t been totally honest with you, and you might not want to be friends with me after I tell you what’s been going on in my life. So, please, can we talk about this face to face?”

It didn’t take long for Rachel to get there. He winced when he saw her clothes, but managed to keep his comments about her old cat lady style to himself. She stared at him nervously and with a small amount of suspicion. “Are you in trouble, Kurt?” she asked seriously.

Kurt shook his head. Once she was seated, he stood up and began pacing. “So before I met you,” he started, “I had a friend. Her name was Grace. We were pretty close, and she was there at a point in my life when I really needed a friend.”

Rachel nodded her head hesitantly. “What happened?”

Kurt grimaced and swallowed thickly. “Well, uh, long story short, we are no longer friends.” Such an understatement, he though bitterly before continuing. “But we did have a night together…and, well, my son was born not too long ago.”

If he wasn’t so worried about losing her as a friend, he would have laughed at her expression. Her eyes and mouth were comically wide, but that didn’t ease Kurt’s tension.

“You…you have a son?” she whispered.

He nodded his head solemnly. “Yeah.”

She blinked rapidly in an attempt to process everything. “But you’re gay!” she exclaimed. She paused for a moment. “Were…were you confused? Like, did you want to make sure? Because my dad LeRoy went through the same thing, and that’s perfectly okay.”

Kurt smiled slowly at her, and if there was a hint of bitterness in his smile, well, he had a perfectly good reason for it. “No, no. I knew I was gay. I’ve known who I was and what I liked since I was five,” he stated. “That night…it wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t like women that way, and I never will.”

Rachel smoothed her hideous skirt and cocked her head to the side. “I don’t understand,” she confessed with a slight frown. “If you’re gay, how did you have sex with a woman to produce a child?”

Kurt’s fist tightened of its own accord. How could he answer this without divulging every single horrid detail? How could he gloss over it so that she wouldn’t see him as a victim? But looking at her obviously not running from him for being a teenage father and trying to understand how he got into this situation, Kurt took a small leap of faith and decided to tell her.

“That night,” he said, licking his dry lips with a dryer tongue, “Grace slipped something into my drink. I remember flashes, but the only thing that is clear is waking up next to her and running away once I realized what had happened.”

Kurt looked down and took a deep breath. There. He said it without including that four-letter R word or victimizing himself.

Before he knew it, Rachel’s arms encircled around him. He blinked in surprise and gaped when she finally pulled away with tears in her eyes. “Kurt, that…that’s awful,” she choked out. “How could anyone do that? How could someone who is supposed to be your friend do that to you?”

“I’ve asked myself that many times,” he admitted. “But I don’t know. I can’t match the girl who used to be my best friend with the girl that decided she didn’t need my consent to have sex with me. And now I have a son to take care of and be responsible for because she didn’t even have the decency to put on a damn condom.”

Rachel wiped her eyes. “I’m here for you,” she said determinedly. “Anybody who would abandon a friend in need isn’t a friend at all. And I want you to know that I will be here. Because you’re quickly becoming my best friend, and I won’t leave you alone.”

Kurt stared at her for a moment before smiling. “Thank you,” he said sincerely.

They spent the rest of the night talking. He showed her the picture he took of Ethan with his phone, and before she went home, they were closer than ever. This was what real friends were supposed to be like.

He slept peacefully that night, dreaming of his son which was for once not terror-inducing.


	4. Inked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt gets tattooed, and Rachel meets Ethan.

Chapter 4 – Inked

Kurt returned to the hospital bright and early the next day. Rachel wanted to go with him, but he really wanted to spend some alone time with his son first so she wouldn’t be at the hospital until a little after lunch. He was happy that she understood Ethan was going to be a large part of his life, though, and accepted that without an issue. Her not running for the hills made him feel ecstatic, and more hopeful that his friendship with Rachel would be nowhere near as disastrous or traumatizing as his with Grace’s had been.

Burt was at the shop early today, so Kurt was on his own. He was a little nervous about that, but he was a big boy. He could handle seeing his son at the hospital by himself. Kurt arrived at Grace’s room without much fuss and greeted Brian and Sandra quietly. Grace was sleeping, and she somehow managed to look worse than she did yesterday. He immediately noticed that Ethan wasn’t in the room, which made him feel extremely relieved. It was better if Grace didn’t have any contact with his son at all.

“How are you both doing this morning?” he asked the Cooks politely.

Brian gave him a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’re getting there,” he admitted. “Grace’s therapist agreed that seeing Ethan would cause her more damage, and that combined with her giving up her parental rights, the hospital has agreed to not bring the baby into the room. When you want to see him, you can do so in the observation room.”

Kurt nodded his understanding. He felt infinitely better. He’d been worried that the only way to see Ethan while he was in the hospital was to come into Grace’s room, and now that he knew he didn’t have to see her ever again, he was much more relaxed.

He bit his lip a little. “Based on how she reacted yesterday, I’ve come to the decision to get a restraining order against her,” he confessed. “I don’t think she’d come near me again, but she might want to try to get closer to Ethan.”

The Cooks flinched a little, but Sandra nodded her head sadly. “We understand,” she said softly, her eyes a little wet. “Really, we do. She’s getting help, but it will be a long process.”

Kurt nodded before standing up. “And I really do hope she gets better. Before all of this, I did consider her my best friend. I guess a part of me misses that, but I can’t think of her and not feel my skin crawl.” He smoothed out invisible wrinkles on his shirt. “I have your phone number. Do you prefer me to e-mail pictures to you or would you like hard copies mailed?”

Brian and Sandra shared a look. “E-mail would be best,” Brian said. “There would be less of a chance of Grace finding them, and we can print out any we want hard copies of.”

Kurt nodded his head. Before he turned to leave, he stuck out his hand a little hesitantly. Both adults didn’t hesitate to shake it, and wish him the best of luck. And with that, Kurt walked out of the room, hopeful to never see Grace again.

He made the short walk to the observation room and smiled at the nurses. “Hello,” he greeted. “I’d like to see my son, Ethan Hummel.”

One nurse glanced at him and smiled. She had her blonde hair tied neatly in a ponytail and pink scrubs on. “Hello,” she said. She glanced at the badge that security had given him and smiled again. “It looks like you’re just in time for a feeding,” she remarked as she glanced at the time. “Follow me.”

Kurt was led into a small room. It was covered top to bottom with various Disney characters. There was a soft looking chair that he settled into, as well as a desk but not much else. The nurse left and returned shortly wheeling in what looked like a small glass tank. His son was squirming slightly and making the cutest little whines and grunts.

“Here we go,” the nurse said brightly. She carefully grabbed Ethan and positioned him in Kurt’s arms. “You want to make sure you support his neck with this arm, and hold him securely. There you go.” She smiled before reaching for the small bottle she brought with her. “So far he’s had a good appetite and drinking most of his bottle, if not everything, which is normal. I’m Lisa, by the way. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Kurt nodded and watched as she left before paying attention to his feeding son. Ethan’s eyes were closed as he drank, and Kurt was mesmerized. The only babies he’d ever seen had been in movies. And since he found out about his impending fatherhood, his own father had made him practice holding, changing, and feeding on a baby doll.

As he fed his son, though, he realized that practicing on a plastic doll had nothing on the real thing. Kurt stared, enraptured as his son guzzled down the bottle with small, contented noises. The realization that he was responsible for this tiny perfect little creature fully hit him, and it still seemed a bit daunting but a lot less like an insurmountable task.

“Hi, baby boy,” he whispered, cradling Ethan close to his body. “I’m your daddy.”

Ethan opened his eyes briefly before closing them again and returning to his bottle. Kurt smiled, fighting the urge to cry. A comfortable silence fell as Ethan finished eating and Kurt repositioned him to burp his little boy. He was very nervous, but he practiced many times on that baby doll and Ethan didn’t seem too uncomfortable or in any pain.

Kurt looked up at the sound of the door opening, and he smiled in surprised happiness at his father. “Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you were needed at the shop?”

Burt smiled back and moved to lean against the desk. “Jimmy’s watching the shop for a little bit. You and I have an appointment to keep.”

Kurt’s brow scrunched in confusion. “I’m not sure I follow,” he admitted slowly. “Were we supposed to do something today?”

Ethan let out a tiny belch. Burt smiled at the baby and reached out. Kurt stood and once Burt was sitting in the chair, he deposited his son into the awaiting arms.

Watching as grandpa and grandson met for the first time was a very beautiful moment. Kurt took a picture with his phone and saved that as his screensaver. It was quiet for a few moments before Burt spoke up again, and Kurt was kind enough to ignore his father’s gruff, emotion-filled voice.

“It’s a surprise,” Burt confessed. “I set everything up, we just have to leave in fifteen minutes.”

Kurt eyed his father suspiciously. “Okay,” he said, still confused but accepting his father’s word. “I’ll go let the nurse know. I wanted Rachel to meet the baby anyway.”

Kurt left so his father could bond with Ethan and spoke to the nurse. Too soon they were leaving the hospital again, taking the Navigator and following Burt’s directions. Arriving at their destination, Kurt stared blankly at the establishment. His brain didn’t quite process the sign that read, ‘Barb’s Body Art & Piercing’.

“I did some research on that tattoo you wanted,” Burt explained quietly. “And I thought I could get the gold palm print while you get the full tattoo.”

Kurt stared at his father with wet eyes. “I…” He broke off, feeling his throat tighten as he was overwhelmed.

“Hey,” Burt said. He grabbed Kurt’s hand in his and squeezed. “We’re in this together, remember? I hate that you were touched by darkness so young in life. Nobody deserves to go through what you did, but I’m here for you. For you and Ethan both, okay? And I will help you chase that darkness away, because you’re my son and I love you more than anything on this Earth.”

Kurt took deep breaths and used the back of his hand to wipe away his tears. He smiled at his father. “I love you, too, dad,” he said, and was quite proud of himself when his voice wavered too slightly to notice.

Burt smiled back. “Let’s go in, then. Our appointment is about to start.”

They walked into the parlor together. It was very clean and had nice, tasteful photographs and paintings on its walls. Kurt’s tattoo artist, Barb herself, was a middle-aged brunette with sleeve tattoos and many piercings. She smiled very kindly at them before getting their licenses and having Burt sign Kurt’s permission slip. 

“This is what you want, hun?” she asked him, showing him the sketch. “Your dad showed me the picture, but I want to double check. This is permanent, after all.”

Kurt nodded. “That looks perfect, thank you.”

Barb smiled at him. “It’s so hard to find young adults polite this day and age,” she commented, making Burt puff a little proudly. “Where do you want it?”

“Between my shoulder blades,” Kurt responded promptly. He had put a lot of thought into it and decided that would be the best place. Depending on how this tattoo went, Kurt had plans for possible future ones and he knew exactly where he wanted each.

Barb nodded. “Alright, let’s get started. Reggie over here will do your father while I take care of you. We’ll be in this room right here since you’ll have your shirt off, and when your father is finished he’ll join us.”

Getting the tattoo was an interesting experience. Barb was very understanding since this was his first tattoo, and she had a nice sense of humor. After making sure the tattoo was placed correctly, she got to work and Kurt was surprised that it wasn’t terribly painful like he’d assumed. It wasn’t painless by any means, but it was merely a consistent dull ache with an occasional flare up. Burt stepped into the room after only ten minutes sporting the small, gold palm print on the inside of his wrist.

Kurt smiled as his dad took pictures and continued his small talk with Barb. She was a sweetheart, easy to talk to and understanding what the tattoo meant. Before long his own tattoo was finished, and when he stared at it in the mirror, his heart constricted ever so slightly. It was perfect. “Bent, but not broken. Marked, but not maimed.” He wasn’t a victim; he was a survivor.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

Barb smiled gently at him. “What defines us is how well we rise after falling,” she said confidently. “It seems like you’ve fallen pretty far, but you also seem to be rising pretty damn well.”

Kurt gave a watery laugh. “How much do I owe you?”

Burt shook his head. “I took care of this one,” he said. He eyed Kurt. “You’ll pay for anything else you want with your own money, but this one…don’t worry about it.”

Kurt gave his father a big hug, which Burt returned carefully so as to not disturb the new tattoo.

Barb started to clean up her area, and said, “Now, hun, your father here told me you wanted to get more tattoos. You won’t need him in here with you, but you do still need a permission slip signed.”

They talked for a bit longer before the Hummels left. Kurt felt calmer and more at peace. It was weird because getting a tattoo didn’t seem like something terribly serious, and yet Kurt knew his good mood was because of said tattoo.

“How’s your back?” Burt asked with slight concern.

“It’s fine, dad,” Kurt replied brightly. “Honestly, it’s kind of gone numb. It doesn’t feel like I got anything done at all.”

“Good.” Burt glanced at the time on the console. “When are you going to get Rachel?”

“We agreed that I’d pick her up a little after lunch, so around a quarter until one. Why?”

“Because it’s 12:39.”

Kurt glanced sharply at the time and gaped. “Oh my Gucci,” he breathed. He fumbled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to his father. “Could you tell her I’m on my way?”

As Burt made the call, Kurt quickly got on track to Rachel’s house. He’d only been there a few times, not really feeling comfortable staying over a girl’s house anymore. He remembered perfectly well how to get there, though, and made it in record timing. Rachel was already outside with a bag in her hand and wearing something that made him instinctively wince. She beamed at the father and son before climbing into the backseat of the car.

“Afternoon, Kurt! How are you Mr. Hummel?” she asked excitedly. She seemed to bounce in her seat, unable to contain her happiness.

“We’re doing good, Rachel. And again, call me Burt,” the older man said amusedly. He was happy that Kurt found a friend in Rachel after the Grace debacle, and it always amused him to no end how alike they were. It was as if Rachel was the girl version of Kurt minus the ‘impeccable fashion taste’ and with an unusual fondness for cat sweaters.

“What’s in the bag?” Kurt asked curiously, not keeping his eyes off the road.

Rachel blushed. “Uh, well, I just thought…it’s for Ethan,” she stammered.

Burt turned and reached for it, and Rachel relinquished it without any second thoughts. He pulled out a plushy brown teddy bear and a soft crocheted blanket. “Rachel, these are beautiful,” he said warmly. “Where did you get the blanket?”

Rachel’s blush darkened. “Um, I made it,” she admitted quietly. “It only took all night, but I wanted to make something and thought a baby could never have too many blankets.”

“That’s incredible.” Burt ran his fingers over the soft yarn.

They arrived at the hospital with Kurt strangely quiet. Burt gave his son a kiss on the forehead before leaving to find his car so he could return to work. Once Burt was out of sight, Kurt hesitantly wrapped his arms around Rachel and squeezed lightly.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “It means a lot, truly.”

Rachel looked a little embarrassed, but overall very pleased and hugged him back around the waist. That wasn’t too surprising since out of the two of them, Rachel was always the one initiating hugs. It took a little bit for him to stop tensing up every time she hugged him, but eventually he had gotten to the point where he didn’t mind her hugs even if he didn’t start a huggle session.

“It’s just a simple double crochet pattern that I found on YouTube and the yarn was easy to get, and the edging is a shell stitching that was also easy to do although my fingers cramped a bit afterwards. Do you really like it?” Rachel babbled.

Kurt laughed. “Rachel, he’ll use it every night,” he promised.

And with that he led a beaming Rachel back to the observation room of the maternity ward. The nurse from before, Lisa, was still there and welcomed them with a smile. They were led to a slightly bigger room with two chairs this time, and Ethan was once again wheeled into it. Rachel gazed at the baby with an awestruck expression usually reserved for when she re-watched West Side Story.

“Kurt, he’s so beautiful,” she whispered reverently. She hesitated a little before asking quietly, “Can I hold him?”

Kurt smiled at her. “Sit down and I’ll put him in your arms.”

Rachel promptly planted her behind on the chair and held her arms out. Kurt laughed but reached into the tank thing and picked up his son. Ethan squirmed a little, but otherwise remained sleeping. It was easy to transfer him into her arms, moving her limbs slightly so she could support the baby comfortably.

“Am I doing it right?” she breathed.

“You’re doing it perfectly,” he swore. “You’ll probably get a lot of practice doing this as his Auntie Rachel.”

Rachel sniffled and her lip wobbled before she nodded furiously as if she were a bobble head. “I’ll help out whenever you need me to,” she said, her gaze firmly fixed on Ethan’s sleeping face. “I can see a lot of you in him.”

Kurt beamed, pleased that he wasn’t the only one that could see it. They stayed at the hospital for a few hours, alternating between who got to hold and feed Ethan. Both of them were glowing when they left for the day with promises to return tomorrow.

“Do you want to hang out for a little bit?” Rachel asked once they pulled into her driveway. She looked hopefully at him.

Kurt shook his head apologetically. “I need to make sure things at the shop are okay,” he said. “And I have to start looking at babysitters.”

“So early?” Rachel asked, shocked. “He’s only two days old.”

“School starts in a month,” he said sadly. “I need to make sure whoever watches him will be a good fit, and honestly I’m expecting difficulties finding a sitter because I’m gay.”

Rachel shook her head angrily. “The discrimination in this state is ridiculous,” she practically snarled. “My dads did a great job raising me!”

Kurt patted her hand. “I know. But discrimination is inevitable in this cow town. I’m hoping I’ll have some luck with finding a sitter I can trust with Ethan, but if I can’t, I honestly don’t know what I’ll do. My dad might be able to watch him at the garage some days, but ultimately he needs to run his business and I can’t ask him to give it up to help with Ethan. I know he will, but dad loves the garage. It’s not fair to ask him to stop doing what he loves.”

Rachel nodded her head sadly. She wished she could help him some way, but she herself was still in school and— “I know!” she exclaimed suddenly. “One of my dads might be able to!”

Kurt cocked his eyebrow. “Don’t your dads work?”

Rachel shook her head. “My dad LeRoy does, but my other dad Hiram doesn’t. He was talking the other day about being bored and looking for a part-time job. I don’t think he’s found one yet, but we can go check now and see what he thinks!”

Kurt weighed the pros and cons. Rachel, after getting his permission, had told her fathers he had a son, but not how that son came to be. They assumed, like she had, that he wanted to make sure he was gay, which was completely fine with him. He was still beyond uncomfortable with people knowing what he went through even though it happened about nine and a half months ago. If Hiram was available and willing to take care of Ethan, he would feel a lot more at ease. He obviously would know a lot more about babies than Kurt himself, and obviously wouldn’t mind about Kurt’s sexuality. 

“We can ask,” he decided carefully. “And if he can’t, then I’ll have to figure something out.”

Rachel squealed and leapt out of the car. “Come on, we’ll go ask.”

Kurt dutifully followed Rachel into her house. He watched as she kissed both of her fathers on the cheek and showed them pictures Kurt had taken on her phone of her holding his son. He didn’t realize he had zoned out until Rachel tapped him on the shoulder with a worried expression.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked embarrassedly.

“Rachel was telling us you started looking for a sitter already?” Hiram said, making it sound more like a question.

“Well, it’s hard enough being gay in this cow town, I’m not sure if anybody would be willing to watch my son,” Kurt explained with a frown. “And with school a month away, I need to start looking now if I have any hope of finding someone. But Rachel said that maybe you’d be interested…?”

Hiram’s eyes lit up in understanding and compassion. “Yes, people are very ignorant here,” he agreed with a small shake of his head. “And I would be happy to watch him when you go to school.”

Kurt smiled and they engaged in a long talk about pay, expectations, time and whatnot. “No, I’ll be picking him up directly after school,” he said when asked about extracurricular activities.

“But Kurt, we can use you in Glee club!” Rachel protested. “You are the only person I’ve met that can match me vocally! My Judy Garland!”

“Rachel,” Kurt said, exasperated, “I’m going to be separated from Ethan then entire day. Plus Mr. Ryerson really creeps me out. I really don’t think it’d be best to get involved with activities when I have to take care of my son.”

“Well,” LeRoy cut in from his place in the kitchen, “if you want to get into a good college, you should really consider taking up something. Schools like a well-rounded student, and that means involving yourself in some different activities.”

“We understand what you’re saying, Kurt,” Hiram said soothingly. “But LeRoy is right. You should seriously consider maybe doing something. It’ll look good on college applications, and we can always negotiate a schedule. I do have a sewing class I teach on Wednesdays after school, but I’m very flexible. Okay?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kurt compromised. He understood where they were coming from, really he did. And he had definitely been looking forward to doing something after school before he found out about Ethan. But he had a son now. He couldn’t devote so much time to school and not raise his child. Wasn’t that what being a parent was about? Sacrificing what he wanted so that his beautiful little boy could have everything he needed and then some?

As if reading his mind, Hiram continued, “It’s okay to want some things for yourself, Kurt. As a parent, you do get to enjoy going out or splurging on a little shopping spree every so often as long as it doesn’t interfere with your duties and whatnot. Parenting is about ninety nine percent giving yourself to your children and one percent doing something for you. And I don’t think you taking time after school to do one or two activities will damage Ethan in any way.”

Kurt worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’ll think about it,” he repeated, and that was the end of the conversation. He soon bid farewell to the Berry family, accepting a hug from Rachel and surprisingly Hiram before heading towards his own home. Burt was already home, serving food.

Kurt stopped dead. The last time his dad cooked was just after his mother died and the chicken was raw on the inside. “Dad?” he questioned, unable to keep the wary tone out of his voice.

Burt visibly startled and turned around, putting a hand on his heart. “Jesus, Kurt,” he gasped. “I’m old, son. You can’t sneak up on me. I almost had a heart attack.”

Kurt grinned. “You’re not that old. Not old enough to have a heart attack,” he amended, looking at the table. “What’s all this? Is it edible?”

Burt let out a sarcastic, dry laugh. “Ha! I may not know my way around this kitchen, but I’ll have you know I’m a wiz on the grill,” he boasted, showing the burgers he apparently made. “I even got you your tofu burgers on a multi-grain bun.”

Kurt looked at his father. “I’m impressed,” he admitted. “Where did the vegetables come from?”

“The store,” Burt said flatly. “Pre-packaged microwave-ready vegetables. I even got one of those salad kits.”

Kurt snorted as he grabbed drinks and helped his father finish setting up the table. He turned a blind eye to his father’s greasy bacon-loaded burger since Burt did heap vegetables and salad on his plate as well. “I found a sitter for Ethan for when I go to school,” he said after swallowing a bite of his very yummy tofu burger.

Burt cocked an eyebrow. “It’s a little early to find a sitter, don’t you think?”

Kurt shrugged. “I was expecting to have a hard time of it,” he said quietly. His dad stiffened at the reminder that they lived in an ass backwards cow town, but he continued diligently, “Rachel’s dad Hiram is willing to do it. He was going to look for a part-time job, but he’s agreed to watch Ethan for me instead.”

“That’s good, son,” Burt replied. “I could’ve watched him for you, too,” he added.

“I know, but I also know that you love the garage and I didn’t want to make you give it up or feel like you absolutely had to help with Ethan.” Kurt smiled. “And I also know you wouldn’t have minded.”

Burt shook his head. “It would have taken some prioritizing but we would have figured out. But I do think Hiram Berry would be suitable for the job.”

Kurt took a deep drink of his water. “Yeah, he was even willing to watch Ethan after school so I could join some extracurricular activities.”

Burt nodded his head. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure if I’m going to do any activities, actually,” Kurt said with a shrug. “I mean, I have Ethan now and I can’t just spend time after school doing something when I have a responsibility to him.”

“Admirable and understandable,” Burt said slowly, “but Kurt, you don’t have to give up your high school experiences just to raise Ethan. I mean, what about singing? I thought you’d love to join that Glee club Rachel was talking about last time?”

Kurt grimaced. How could he explain to his father that Mr. Ryerson gave him the vibe of a creepy, lonely pedophile and seemed especially interested in Kurt joining his little club? “That’s what Hiram and LeRoy were saying, but I don’t know. I said I’d think about it.”

“You really should. Having Ethan doesn’t mean you have to give up everything. Yeah, you’ll have to compromise a few things but you should really have fun and still get the chance to be a kid.”

Kurt finished his burger and dug into his Caesar salad. “I guess,” he finally said. “I just…I’d feel like a bad parent if I went to go do something fun while he stayed with a sitter.”

Burt shook his head vehemently. “Not a chance,” he said firmly, as if the idea of Kurt being a bad parent was ludicrous and foolish. “You’re going to be a great father, Kurt. I know you are. But I really want you to think about this. At least join one thing.”

Kurt stared at his father. Burt seemed so earnest about Kurt still enjoying some time as a kid that he reluctantly nodded. “If I see something interesting, I’ll join in. But,” Kurt said hastily before his father could interject, “if I’m not interested in anything, the subject is dropped until next year. Agreed?”

Burt grinned. “Agreed.” They finished dinner without much fuss and he gave Kurt a hug. “I’m going to watch some Deadliest Catch and then head to bed.”

“Night, dad. I’ll see you in the morning.”

As Kurt walked down the stairs to his room, his phone beeped. He smiled as he opened the picture message from Rachel. It was of the two of them and Ethan. The nurse had been very kind to take the photo, and he gently ran his finger over the screen before replying.

He and Rachel spent hours texting, and when Kurt finally passed out, he dreamed of the little noises Ethan made.


	5. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan goes home, and Kurt gets used to being a daddy.

Chapter 5 – Daddy

Kurt felt like he was going to puke. He took a deep breath and ignored his father’s amused stare. He could do this. He could do this. With a shaky hand, he grasped the material and pulled it back. He let out a squeal as a yellow stream came flying at him. Burt promptly dissolved into a fit of semi-hysterical laughter.

“It’s not funny,” Kurt said. And no, he was not pouting. His lip just…jutted out like that sometimes.

“Payback is sweet,” Burt said with a smirk. “You did that to me every time I tried to change you.”

Kurt blushed furiously. “Did not,” he denied.

He was supposed to be bringing Ethan home, but before he could get him dressed in warm clothes, the most putrid odor he ever smelled started to emanate from Ethan’s diaper (and this was coming from someone who spent more time in a dumpster than he cared to admit). And, of course, his father couldn’t wait to catch him trying to change the diaper on camera.

And thus his outfit was now ruined by his son’s pee and his father wasn’t doing anything to help him with it. With a helpless sigh, he squared his shoulders, held his breath, and got to work. He obviously didn’t do too shabby a job since Ethan didn’t make any noises of discomfort, and he grinned proudly at the finished product.

“Good job, son,” Burt said firmly, smiling as he put his phone away.

Kurt blushed at the praise, but continued getting Ethan ready to leave. When he was done, his son was dressed in a warm and fuzzy dark blue footie pajama with different little dinosaurs. Underneath he had on a plain white onesie and his outfit was complete with a pair of mittens to stop him from scratching his face. It wasn’t the most stylish outfit, but Ethan still looked extremely adorable.

“You’re sure he’s not going to melt?” Kurt asked worriedly for what had to be the seventh time. “It’s the middle of July.”

Burt nodded his head with the patience of a saint. “He’s brand new to the world. He’ll need to be covered and kept warm. Once we’re home, we can ease up a little since we keep the house fairly warm, but he’ll still need to be swaddled and under a blanket.”

Kurt bit his lip but nodded, trusting his father. After all, Burt did raise him and he turned out okay. He watched as his father secured Ethan in the car seat and handed Kurt the handle. They waved at the nurses as they left, receiving quite a few smiles and well wishes. He was very careful carrying the car seat to the car, and he had his father install it while he watched avidly. Ethan let a tiny whimper when he was clicked into place, but otherwise continued sleeping. Kurt was very nervous about driving while Ethan was in the back seat, but Burt made the very logical point that he’ll have to get used to it. There would be times where Kurt would have to drive Ethan all by himself, and he couldn’t do that efficiently if he only drove at ten miles an hour and constantly looked back in the mirror.

One nerve-wracking drive later and he was finally home. Ethan was still peacefully sleeping, which Kurt knew he had to take advantage of. He quickly worked on getting Ethan into his crib, careful not to wake him, and began setting up some of the cases of formula and gallons of baby water he bought from Walmart of all places. After a small discussion with his father, he’d realized that no, he didn’t want to carry Ethan upstairs and downstairs when he was half asleep and risk falling. So it was decided he could have most of the formula in the kitchen, but a small supply in his room as well as a hot plate and little saucepan to heat up the formula. Then all he had to do was wash the dirty bottles and saucepan in his bathroom. It would work quite nicely (until he managed to convince his father to put a kitchenette in the basement, at least).

Once everything was set to Kurt’s standards, he quickly made himself and his father a light and healthy lunch. He obsessively checked the new baby monitor Burt had bought him, eyeing the green light suspiciously as if it were tricking him.

“We tested them,” Burt reminded him around a mouthful of a delicious organic sandwich. “Stop glaring at it or it’ll combust.”

Kurt bit his lip. “It just seems too quiet,” he confessed.

Burt let out a small laugh. “Believe me, Kurt, you should enjoy that while you can,” he said with a knowing look. “The only time to be worried about the silence is when he’s a toddler and getting into everything.”

Kurt nodded his head. It made sense, and he knew he was just being a giant worry wart, but he couldn’t help it. It must be something all first time parents go through, and he briefly wondered if his parents had had the same fears and worries that were running through his mind. With a sigh, he leaned back against the chair and gasped as it came into contact with his still healing tattoo. It didn’t exactly hurt, but it did twinge quite a bit.

Speaking of tattoos, Kurt had given it a lot of thought and he decided he wanted to get another tattoo before school started. He’d made a budget, and he had already taken care of the little bills he had (gas, cell phone, things Ethan would need) so getting one more tattoo wouldn’t break his bank. If he got it before school began in about a month, it would be fully healed and he wouldn’t have to worry about it getting infected or anything when he was slammed against the lockers or tossed in the dumpster. And yes, he was still sure that would happen.

Even though he’d gone to the gym and had even begun taking self defense lessons, the fact remained that he was severely outnumbered. He could probably handle his own against one of the Neanderthals he came into contact with, but they normally traveled in packs and would have no problem taking him down. So for now, Kurt would have to deal with the slushie facials and the dumpster dives and the locker slams in an effort to keep his harassment limited to that and not outright beat downs.

He thought about telling his father about everything. A part of him really wanted to. Kurt wanted his father to fix everything and make it all better, but on the other hand, he also wanted and needed to stand on his own two feet in regards to the bullying he suffered. His dad was not always going to be around to save the day, and he needed to deal with it. The harassment wasn’t severe yet, and he knew the minute it became severe, he’d tell his father. They’d gotten so much closer these past few months after everything, and Kurt knew he could go to his father with whatever problem he had. He just wanted to try to straighten everything himself, on his own terms, before it ever got to that point.

Kurt was brought out of his thoughts by Ethan’s whines coming over the baby monitor. He was quick to get down the stairs and grab his son who gurgled and made sucking movements with his mouth. While not a pro just yet, Kurt had little trouble preparing the bottle with one hand. He bounced Ethan gently in his arms as it heated up, and dipped his pinky in the formula to test the temperature. It wasn’t too bad, maybe a little warmer than ideal but it wouldn’t scald Ethan’s little tongue or throat.

Settling into his mother’s rocking chair, Kurt adjusted Ethan in his arms and fed him. So far watching Ethan feed was one of Kurt’s favorite things to do. Just holding the little baby boy was perfection itself, to be honest. It never failed to captivate Kurt, and though a part of him dearly wishes Ethan’s mother was someone other than Grace, or that maybe they really could have had a wild night of passion together instead of The Incident, but Kurt realized he couldn’t and wouldn’t change a thing. To regret such an ugly part of his life would be to regret the beautiful outcome, and Ethan was the greatest silver lining he’d ever had the privilege to receive.

The rest of the week passed by slowly. The Hummel household was gradually becoming accustomed to all of the changes. Ethan awoke every two hours for a feed, normally with whining instead of ear-splitting shrieks that, according to Burt, Kurt used to do all the time. Burt camped out downstairs on the pull-out couch so that Kurt wasn’t all by himself with the newborn. As a result, neither Hummel was completely sleep deprived. They had managed to find a routine, and it worked for them.

Rachel was also a regular and most welcome visitor. She stopped by every day, excited to do her part as Auntie Rachel. Kurt was happy for the help, but also insisted on doing most of the work. Rachel would change a few diapers and feed Ethan once or twice, but the rest Kurt handled all by himself, and did a pretty damn good job too. And when Ethan napped, they found themselves softly singing along to whatever musical they popped in, or even just talking about the upcoming school year.

Both were delighted when, after comparing schedules, they discovered they shared two classes together, English and Algebra 2, as well as their lunch period. It would certainly make the classes easier, and Rachel was already planning their study sessions.

“Trust me, Kurt, this system really works,” Rachel assured, her hand flying over a color-coded piece of paper.

Kurt spared her a quick glance. “I guess,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. He never really had any issues with studying. In fact, the only class he’d ever had problems with was physical education, and that had always been because he lacked physical strength. With him putting in the effort to really enhance his body, he was toned and firm. He’d have no problem with P.E. this year.

Rachel continued to babble as Kurt got to work preparing a basin of warm water. He was going to give Ethan another sponge bath. The baby was still not quite big enough to take an actual bath in the cute little tub Kurt had purchased, so they settled for warm sponge baths that, in a way, seemed to encourage more bonding time. That was probably because after every little sponge bath, Kurt would lay Ethan on his chest with the blanket Rachel had made and revel in the skin-to-skin contact.

“You look really natural when you do that,” Rachel said suddenly.

Kurt blinked. “You think so?” It was nice to hear. It hadn’t been that long since he brought Ethan home, but sometimes he felt as if he was doing everything wrong. There was even a day when he looked at his son and all he could see was Grace in him. It didn’t exactly inspire wonderful thoughts, and though he worked through it, a large part of him was greatly concerned that it was going to keep happening. He feared if he continued to only see Grace in Ethan, then he was going to grow to resent the baby boy or that it would affect his parenting. Needless to say, his father’s and Rachel’s assurances were very comforting.

Rachel smiled softly at him. “It looks like you’ve been doing this forever,” she reiterated. “I mean, I know it’s not ideal at this point in your life, but fatherhood looks really good on you.”

Kurt blushed in embarrassed pleasure. He undressed Ethan, smiling at his son’s little annoyed grunt. It didn’t take him very long to give him a sponge bath, particularly because he was too aware that his son’s tiny body would get cold very easily. He wasn’t a pro at it, but he was obviously practiced. Ethan squirmed and squawked, his arms reflexively twitching. When Kurt continued, Ethan let out a displeased cry that had the teens smiling.

Ethan was soon dried and laid atop Kurt’s chest with the warm blanket Rachel had made draped over him. The skin-on-skin contact was very comforting to both father and son.

“I’m really not looking forward to school,” Kurt admitted as he stared at the settled baby in his arms.

Rachel frowned. “Why not? I mean, I know I for one do not want to continuously get slushied or shoved into lockers, but—”

“I don’t want to leave Ethan,” Kurt interrupted. “He’ll be a month old when we go back to school and it’s just not enough time. I feel like I don’t have enough time to really bond with him before he’ll be spending most of the day with your father.”

Rachel’s face softened with understanding. “Are you…are you thinking about dropping out?” she asked hesitantly.

Kurt sighed. “I did think about it,” he confessed. “But in the long run, finishing high school and getting a college degree would be better. I would have a lot more prospects and options about what to do in life, and though people can do well for themselves without a diploma or a degree, that is a small percentage. And it’s a percentage I just don’t want to be a part of.”

Rachel nibbled her lip. “Have you seen if the school would work with you?”

“What do you mean?” Kurt cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Well, it’s just, do you think McKinley would allow you to bring Ethan to any extra curriculars?”

Kurt grimaced. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to sign up for activities or not,” he reminded her. “And as long as any jock is still in the school, I wouldn’t want to bring Ethan there. Because whatever God they believe in had better help them if they so much as walk down the hall with a slushie in hand if my son is there. I wouldn’t need to worry about a future because I’d go to jail.”

Rachel fell silent for a few moments. “I don’t think they’d slushie a baby.”

Kurt gave her a flat stare. “Considering these people think of me as their number one target, I’m not exactly confident that they wouldn’t slushie my son simply because he’s my son.”

Rachel shrugged. They fell into a comfortable silence before Kurt dressed Ethan and put him in his crib.

“Did you want to do a movie night too?” Rachel asked hopefully.

Kurt glanced at the time and bit his lip. “I have an appointment and I don’t know when I’ll get back,” he said honestly.

Rachel stared at Kurt with no small amount of concern. “Are you getting sick?”

Kurt shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m, uh, getting another tattoo in an hour,” he said softly. “I wanted to get it before school so it’ll heal or be mostly healed before immersing myself in a year of locker slams and dumpster dives.”

The Jewish diva looked incensed and outraged at the mention of his VIP treatment courtesy of the knuckle-dragging meatheads before her face dropped and she regarded him curiously. “What’s it going to be?”

Kurt grinned and pulled out his phone to show her the picture. Her face softened further. “I was thinking about getting it on my ribs, but I’m still unsure,” he admitted. “The ribs are the worst part to get a tattoo. It’s supposed to be super painful.”

“Didn’t your other one hurt?”

“It stung a little, sure, but it was tolerable.” Kurt shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly, I have plans for other tattoos, and with what I’m planning, I think my ribs is the best choice for placement.”

“I thought you wanted to go on Broadway? Wouldn’t it be hard with so many tattoos?”

Kurt chewed on his lower lip. “I’m not sure a career in Broadway is for me,” he said softly. “I love to sing, true, and I know I can act. Ideally, a performing arts career would be just the thing for me. But, it’s just, that future doesn’t seem very stable to me, and I need stability.” He gestured in the direction of his sleeping son. “Ethan was never a part of my plans. Maybe somewhere down the line I would have a partner and we’d decide to adopt or choose a surrogate, but I would have been an adult with a blossoming Broadway career. I wouldn’t be a sixteen-year-old kid in this backwater town with no clue what he’s doing.”

“Kurt…” Rachel started to speak but cut herself off, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t regret deciding to take care of Ethan,” Kurt said passionately. “I’m scared shitless and I’m worried I’ll mess him up beyond repair, but I know I’m not alone in this. It’s just, people want to tell me that having a kid doesn’t mean I have to stop being one, and in a way they’re right. I realize there are still things I can do even with Ethan being in my life. But there’s a lot more that I have to give up, and I’m okay with that. My dad wants to tell me that things don’t have to totally change, but he’s wrong. Everything changed the minute I found out Grace was pregnant. And I know he says it because he cares and he wants me to enjoy being a child as much as possible, but I can’t. Grace took that chance from me.”

There was a stunned silence before Rachel gave him a hug. It took a moment, but he eventually hugged her back. They stayed in that position for a long time, no words needing to be exchanged, and they didn’t separate until Ethan began whining and a putrid odor filled the room.

Kurt made to stand up, but Rachel waved him down. She was careful extracting Ethan from his crib and moving him to the changing table.

“You’re right,” she said suddenly. She continued to change Ethan’s diaper almost nonchalantly. “Everything changed. You’re a father now. A teenage, single father and that’s scary and new and not at all what you planned. I can’t imagine being in your position.” She quickly finished putting a clean diaper on Ethan before picking him up and cradling him in her arms. Ethan blinked his eyes at her, but was content with his placement. Rachel gave Kurt a smile. “And I know we haven’t been friends very long, but whatever you need, you let me know. And I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

Kurt blinked away his suddenly wet eyes and nodded thankfully at the shorter diva. Rachel beamed and turned her attention to the tiniest Hummel and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Ethan let out a small grunt but otherwise didn’t complain.

Kurt stood up. “It’s about time for me to leave,” he said softly. “Did you want to come with?”

Rachel looked shocked before she beamed. “Yes,” she squeaked. “Tattoos are technically against my religion, but I don’t consider myself completely devout in that aspect because, let’s be honest, a lot of tattoos are very pretty and there is a chance I might want one in the future.”

Kurt blinked and cocked his head. “…right. Okay, well, let’s get going.” He easily gathered his things and helped Rachel transfer his son into his arms. He smiled down at the calm baby. “You’re going to spend some time with grandpa,” he practically cooed.

Ethan gurgled but otherwise made no protests.


	6. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Rachel go back to school.

Chapter 6 – School

Kurt found himself startled awake and took a moment to gather his bearings. The time on his alarm clock read 6:09AM, and Kurt knew he wouldn't get back to sleep. He glanced down at Ethan who had had a feed at five and refused to go to sleep in his crib. His baby was snoring lightly, sprawled across Kurt's chest with a tiny hand fisted in his shirt. Kurt stared at the delicate features and ignored the twist in his stomach when he saw Grace in his son. Some days were harder than others, but that wasn't Ethan's fault.

He sat still for a little longer, enjoying the light weight of the baby on him. In just under two hours, he'd be back in school with someone else watching his son. It was a bitter pill to swallow, mostly because Kurt had come to enjoy spending most of his time with Ethan. He still did things like go to the gym and help out at the shop and spend time with Rachel, but for the most part the remains of his summer vacation had been spent marveling at the tiny life he was responsible for.

And Ethan had just turned a month old and he'd be handed off so that Kurt could go to school. It wasn't fair.

Kurt wrapped his arms around the baby and breathed the soft, gentle scent of his hair. Ever so carefully he stood up and placed Ethan in his crib. Ethan's little face scrunched in discomfort for a moment before settling back into sleep. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed what he needed to take a quick shower. He was never sure whether or not Ethan would wake up while he was washing up, so he no longer took his super long luxurious baths unless his father watched Ethan.

Kurt, of course, had already picked out a fabulous outfit the night before. In comparison to what he wore in the past, it was definitely an improvement. Freshman year had been about wearing outfits that had reflected Grace. After The Incident, he'd begun wearing what he deemed subpar clothing both in an effort to draw less attention to himself as well as a general lack of caring.

But that was last year, and that Kurt Hummel was gone.

He was a father now. He had an actual friend who despite her diva ways had given him unconditional support and accepted his child with a smile and hand-made blanket. He'd come out to his father, and they'd made lifestyle changes to ensure that they would both be around for Ethan for as long as possible.

This year's Kurt Hummel was a little more confident, definitely more mature, and more at peace with himself. He'd worked so hard to get over the grief that consumed him with the betrayal of his first best friend and the sudden immense burden of responsibility thrust on him. Kurt would be lying if he said he was totally over everything and that he was better than ever, but he'd made incredible strides in the past few months.

Sometimes it was necessary to fall apart in order to fall into place. He was put through the wringer, but he was stronger than what life had thus far thrown at him, and he was going to damn well make sure his clothes reflected that.

His jeans were a little tight and hugged his hips fairly well. He had on a short-sleeved button-up shirt with a sleeveless vest over it. His outfit was complete with a pair of converse. Overall, he looked more casual than last year while still maintaining a fashionable appearance.

Ethan made a few whining noises, and Kurt easily lifted him up and cuddled him close. He sang softly as he one-handedly assembled a bottle. Ethan calmed slightly at Kurt's voice, and he closed his eyes in absolute bliss as he was finally presented with his bottle of milk. Kurt sat in the rocking chair as he fed his son, already mourning the time he would no longer have to devote solely to Ethan.

Sure, he'd still have the weekends as well as mornings and evenings, but it was still a significantly less amount of time.

He was a little solemn as he finished feeding Ethan. He gave the baby a quick bath before putting on a new diaper, onesie, and an outfit that his mother had made. Kurt stared at the embroidered 'K' at the collar and fingered it for a moment before glancing at the time and sighing.

He gathered his messenger bag before cuddling Ethan and walking up the stairs. His father was already awake and had begun making breakfast. Kurt was more than pleased to see it was yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit.

"Morning, dad," he said, placing a small kiss on the cheek.

Burt grunted and reached for his mug, taking a long sip of his coffee. He had severely cut back, but sometimes he really needed a good cup to really wake him up. "How was your night?" he asked once he regained the ability to properly speak. He put Kurt's breakfast in front of him and, having already eaten, took great pleasure in snatching his grandson. Ethan grunted, not unlike Burt, but otherwise settled into the older man's arms.

Kurt took a bite of his food and sighed in bliss. "It was pretty good. He got a little fussy after his five o'clock feed, but settled down after I sat in the rocking chair." He took another bite.

Burt stared at Kurt. "Did you get enough sleep?" he asked gruffly, though Kurt could hear the worry in his voice. "It's the first day of school, and—"

"Dad," Kurt interrupted. He gave his father a smile. "I got plenty of sleep, okay? Honestly, I'm more upset about needing to leave him with Mr. Berry. I've never been away from him for very long, and now he'll be with someone else for about half the day so I can go to school."

"The first time is always the hardest," Burt said. "Your mother and I didn't leave you with someone else until you were about five months old. We hadn't been able to spend much time together, so your grandmother insisted, and you know what? We finished the date hours early," he admitted. "But it does get easier. It's a part of life. As much as you want to, you can't be with him forever. There's nothing wrong with taking some time for you."

Kurt shrugged his shoulders and stubbornly avoided his father, choosing to divert his attention to his empty bowl.

"I know. But he just turned a month old four days ago. It's too soon to leave him for hours. I just…I didn't have enough time."

Before Burt could respond, Kurt's phone beeped. He checked the text message from Rachel before standing up.

"Time to leave?" Burt asked.

Kurt nodded his head. "Rachel's almost ready, and since I'm already going to be at her house to drop off Ethan, we figured it'd be smarter to car pool. No use in Rachel wasting the gas, you know?"

Burt smiled at him. He waited until Kurt put Ethan's car seat on the table before easing the baby into it.

"Have a good day, kiddo," he said softly, kissing Kurt and Ethan on their foreheads.

Kurt smiled. "I'll text you when I'm done with school," he said as he grabbed Ethan's car seat tightly and walked out the door. He had no trouble securing it into the base before getting into the car. Plugging in his iPhone, Kurt sang along as he made the drive to Rachel's house.

He was so into the music that he nearly missed his turn. Before he knew it, he was parked in the driveway. With a deep breath, he prepared himself.

"Okay, I can do this," he said quietly. "I will go in there and leave Ethan in Mr. Berry's very capable hands."

He got out of the car and needlessly fixed his outfit before detaching Ethan's car seat. It was a very long minute to walk to the door. He didn't need to ring the doorbell as Rachel was apparently waiting for him. She swung open the door and beamed at him.

"Morning!" she cheerfully exclaimed. "Are you ready for class?"

Kurt gave her a look. "It is too early to be that peppy," he commented blandly as he walked towards her living room.

"Kurt," Hiram greeted calmly. He adjusted his glasses before firmly grabbing the car seat and placing it on the table, cooing at the sleeping infant. "Oh, he's so precious."

Kurt smiled. Hiram said this every time he saw Ethan, which was quite a bit considering the times Rachel insisted (or rather pestered until he gave in) that he bring Ethan over whenever they spent time at her house. Still, it made Kurt smile proudly. Regardless of how Ethan came to be, he was very happy whenever he saw someone else adore the baby. Granted, nobody adored Ethan quite like Kurt, Burt or Rachel, but it was still nice to see Ethan melt anybody's heart.

Kurt passed Hiram the bulging diaper bag he'd packed. "He has plenty of formula, and I took the liberty of putting the water in his bottles. He also has plenty of diapers, wipes, and a few outfits in case his get dirty. I also put his favorite pacifier just in case. Sometimes he gets cranky if he doesn't have it, but for the most part he just likes a cuddle as he falls asleep. I've already given him a bath this morning just after his seven o'clock feed."

Hiram smiled at Kurt. "Got it. Make sure you have a good first day, okay?"

Kurt nodded and bit his lip. He kneeled beside the car seat, uncaring about wrinkling his pants, and leaned to press one last kiss to Ethan's forehead. "I'll see you later," he whispered. "Be a good boy for Mr. Berry."

It was harder than he thought to leave Ethan as he and Rachel got into his car. Sure, he'd had practice when he left for the gym or to run errands and someone else had to watch his son, but not for such an extended period of time.

"He'll be fine," Rachel assured, patting his forearm.

Kurt nodded and blinked rapidly. "I know that. I'm not worried that your dad won't take good care of him or anything," he replied. "I just hate being away for so long."

Rachel nodded compassionately. She didn't say anything, instead letting him take a few moments to compose himself. The journey to school was accompanied by the amazing voice of Idina, and both teenagers were more than happy to sing their hearts out. Kurt was thankful for the distraction and arrived at school with a lighter heart.

Their arrival garnered more than a few stares. Kurt's Navigator was, after all, very well taken care of and looked brand spanking new. Of course, many assumed that someone as flaming as Kurt would have a tiny car like a Prius, which Kurt would honestly never drive. He had more taste than that, but he couldn't expect the ignorant fools in this cow town to understand that.

"Ready?" Rachel asked as if nearly the entire parking lot wasn't staring at her. He guessed it had something to do with her always craving the spotlight in that little glee club of hers.

"Always," he said before they stepped out of the car together. He armed it before they walked into the school, ignoring everyone else.

The jocks that normally tossed him in the dumpster were so shocked at his car that they didn't realize their number one target was already a safe distance away from them. Ah, it was already starting to be a somewhat good day.

Kurt took out his phone and smiled at the wallpaper of Ethan and his father. His resolve strengthened and he quickly found his locker. Rachel babbled in his ear as he quickly picked the books he needed and deposited the spare outfit he'd packed. They talked for a bit longer before needing to go to separate first block classes.

"See you in English!" Rachel happily exclaimed.

Kurt smiled and nodded his head. He arrived at his first block, Biology, with no trouble. In a way, it made him nervous. By now he'd normally be covered in frozen corn syrup and the lack of it, while very nice, was enough to make him expect some grand act of humiliation later.

With a sigh, Kurt picked a random seat in the front row next to the door. The first day of school was always mind numbing. Teachers either spent the entire class droning on and on about the syllabus or even started assigning homework. Kurt personally didn't care if he had homework on the first day or not. His grades have always been impeccable, and homework was just something that had to be done whether it was on the first day or second.

Of course, Kurt's luck just had to run out.

About fifteen minutes after class had started, the door slammed open. It startled nearly everyone, Kurt included.

"Mr. Puckerman," his teacher droned. "You're late."

Noah Puckerman swaggered into class, a cocky smirk on his face. It was the smirk he wore when he walked out of the janitor's closet after a successful romp, uncaring if anybody saw and leaving the girl to do the walk of shame after him. And Kurt knew that for a fact having seen it with his own eyes. His mohawk was shaved close to his head, and his clothes were in rather poor condition.

"Sorry Mr. B. I was, uh, busy," he said smugly. A few guys whooped as if it were they themselves that had gotten lucky before class.

Kurt could barely prevent himself from rolling his eyes.

"Take a seat in the front row next to Mr. Hummel," the teacher said sternly. "He can fill you in on what you missed."

Kurt felt his stomach drop. Just his freaking luck. Puckerman, for the most part, seemed to hesitate sitting next to the 'resident fag' and his eyes roamed around the room looking for an extra seat. Unfortunately, the only one remaining was next to Kurt, and he made sure when he sat down that he was as far from Kurt as possible.

Which was completely okay with Kurt. Puckerman, or Puck as he preferred to be called, reeked of sex. Kurt trembled slightly, earning a weird look from Puck, but the effeminate boy was gripping the table tightly in an effort to keep himself under control. For a moment, all Kurt could remember was waking up next to Grace, naked, and the overwhelming fear and panic as he stumbled his way out of her house. A few deep breaths later and he was slightly better, enough to notice Puck's expression go from slightly offended to unreadable.

Kurt preferred Puck's unreadable looks. Over the summer, he'd run into Puck at the gym. He'd almost had a heart attack when he got off the bike only to notice Puck behind him lifting weights. Puck had caught his gaze in the mirror, and eyed him warily before shifting into that blank expression. It happened a few more times during the summer, always with Kurt on the bike and Puck lifting weights, and the two had just ignored each other. But Kurt knew it would be different at school. At school, the jocks almost needed to bully those they deemed losers in order to stay on top of the school.

And Kurt was at the bottom and Puck at the top. It was almost inevitable.

The rest of Biology was spent ignoring each other, to Kurt's relief, but he was almost expecting Puck to push him out of his seat. As soon as the bell rang, he practically bolted from the room and made his way to English. He walked into the room to see Rachel already sitting, and she waved him over. She didn't look too happy.

"You okay?" he asked as he sat down.

Rachel pursed her lips. "Quinn Fabray is in my European History AP class," she said grumpily.

Kurt winced. Quinn Fabray, one of the most popular girls in the school, seemed to take great pleasure in basically torturing Rachel over the internet. She delighted in writing the nastiest comments on Rachel's MySpace videos. It was part of the reason why Kurt refused to be on video with her. With as many problems with bullying that Kurt already had, he definitely didn't need to give his tormentors another medium to spread their poison.

"I'm sorry," he said sympathetically. "Puckerman's in my class," he offered. "But we just ignored each other."

Rachel sighed. "She kept calling me Man Hands and RuPaul."

Kurt made a small pitying noise. They quieted when an Asian girl and a boy in a wheelchair took the spots next to them. The two pairs exchanged smiles, and Rachel opened her mouth to talk to them, but their English teacher walked in and the entire class fell quiet. Kurt glanced at the clock and sighed, wondering how Ethan was doing.

The rest of the class passed by slowly. They already had a group project assigned, eliciting groans of dismay from most of the class. Thankfully they were allowed to choose their own partners and so Kurt and Rachel elected to pair up with Tina and Artie, the pair that sat next to them.

When class was over, they walked into the hallway chatting amicably. Then, without warning, they were bitch slapped by a plethora of slushies. There was a moment of absolute silence when the world appeared to freeze along with them. Cruel laughter broke the quiet, and Kurt tried to get the slushie out of his eyes. He'd been caught with his eyes and mouth open, and he coughed and spluttered.

Glancing around, he noticed a group of jocks clapping each other on the back in congratulations. As usual, no teachers saw this, and the students that did averted their gaze. Kurt didn't exactly blame them. To attempt to tell a teacher meant bringing the jocks' wrath down on them. But he couldn't help feeling the slightest bit bitter. He was tired of bringing extra clothes. He was tired of constantly needing to change. And he was tired of this being a normal part of his day.

Nonetheless, after the small group separated, he grabbed his change of clothes, cleaned himself off as best as he could, and apologized for being late when he finally made it to class.

He texted Hiram when he could to check on Ethan. In response, Hiram sent a picture of Ethan sleeping with a bit of drool coming out of his mouth. The picture made him smile, and helped him get through the day. He heaved a major sigh of relief when he was finally able to go home, and Rachel met up with him at his locker. They quietly discussed their English project while keeping their eyes peeled for any incoming frozen beverages.

The ride home was otherwise enjoyable. Rachel babbled about the first Glee club meeting coming up, and Kurt scrunched his nose. He wasn't terribly surprised that the Glee club, though small, mainly consisted of boys. Sandy Ryerson was a Grade A creep, and young boys seemed to be his thing. Besides Rachel, there was maybe three other girls, and they were merely background singers.

Rachel was also reduced to a mere background singer, something that incensed her and filled her with a desperate need to become lead no matter what. Unfortunately for her, Mr. Ryerson only seemed to want Hank to be the star. Kurt shuddered.

"Mr. Ryerson is creepy," he said not for the first time. He could almost feel the old man's stare on him.

Rachel shrugged, though she did appear a little uncomfortable. "He's…not your typical Glee coach," she admitted hesitantly. "But the club is a great way to express yourself."

Kurt shook his head. "Not at the expense of dealing with that creep."

Before Rachel could reply, Kurt arrived at her house and nearly ran inside. Hiram greeted him with a smile, which Kurt easily returned. He peaked into the car seat and was pleasantly surprised that Ethan was awake and quietly chewing on his fist.

"Hi, baby," he cooed. "I missed you all day."

"He was an angel," Hiram offered. "He cried a little today, but I think he just misses you."

Kurt smiled at Hiram. They talked for a bit more before Kurt took his leave. He was anxious to go home, and spent the drive talking to Ethan. The baby gurgled a bit before drifting off to sleep just as Kurt pulled into the driveway. That didn't stop Kurt from continuing to talk to his son. He set up the tired baby on his table and began cooking dinner, chatting softly to the sleeping infant.


End file.
